JJ's Hero
by JJCM
Summary: Spencer unwittingly comes to JJ's rescue when she needs it most. Now continued...title could change.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Here's my next story, it's a one-shot and it's a little dark. Definitely a T rating with warnings of some violence, suggestive themes and one or two bad words. Not completely happy with it, especially the ending but please feel free to tell me what you think. I don't own any of the characters. **

Jennifer Jareau quietly made her way down the hotel hallway that her BAU team was staying at. While the rest of her teammates had decided to go out for drinks, she had decided to return to the hotel to get some rest and to unwind. They had just solved their case, and they weren't due to fly out and return home until the morning.

The case had been brutal, but then again weren't they all? Their unsub had been killing men and women generally in their 30's and 40's. His kills were brutal and he would sexually assault some, but not all of his female victims. This as well as the different demographics of his victims had made him particularly hard to catch. It was almost a week before the team was able to identify the unsub.

JJ held a press conference that posted his picture everywhere for the public to see, and they were finally able to apprehend their man, 42 year old Steven Carter. Now that the tedious case was finally over JJ wanted nothing more than to catch up on some sleep.

She approached her room, pulling the key card out of her purse and sliding it through until it clicked. JJ entered the modest room, turning on the light before closing and locking the door behind her.

She sighed a tired sigh of relief as she put her purse, gun and badge on the chest of drawers on the near side wall where there was also a mirror. The rest of the room consisted of a bed, bedside table, closet, tv, and an adjoining bathroom. There was also one small window not too far from the bed, although it looked kind of old.

Normally JJ might turn on the tv, but she knew it would just be media coverage of the case they had just solved, and the last thing she wanted to do was relive it right before she went to bed.

JJ let out another deep breath as she tried to relax, still feeling uptight just thinking about the case. She sat on the bed long enough to pull off her shoes and her stockings, giving her feet a chance to finally breathe. She stuffed her stockings in her shoes so as to not lose them and sat on the bed for a moment, lost in thought.

Finally, she decided it was time to get undressed and ready for bed. Slowly JJ stood and walked towards her closet. Habitually her hands went to her blouse as she prepared to unbutton it so she could put on her sweats and t-shirt.

JJ was just about to open the closet doors when they flew open, startling her.

Out of the closet a man lunged at her with a gun. His hand covered her mouth to muffle her scream as he forced her backwards toward the bed.

JJ tried to stop him but he was too strong. Her legs cut out from under her and she fell hard onto the bed, the man landing partially on top of her.

"Don't scream or I'll kill you." He said darkly, his face just inches from hers as he pressed the gun into her temple.

JJ's heart was racing and at first she could barely register what he was saying to her.

"I'm going to remove my hand. If you scream I'll kill you, Jennifer. Do you understand?" JJ nodded in response, still trying to catch her breath. She was thrown off a little by the fact that he knew her name.

"Who are you? What do you want?" she breathed when he removed his hand from her mouth.

"My name, my dear, is Ray Carter, and I'm going to make you pay for what you did to my brother, Jennifer." He smiled as he stroked her cheek with his free hand. JJ flinched but couldn't escape his touch.

"You're Steven Carter's brother?" she asked uneasily, suddenly realizing the danger she was likely in.

"Yes Jennifer and I'm holding you responsible for my brother's capture. I saw your press conference on the tv. If it weren't for you he would still be a free man. For that I'm going to make you pay." He said angrily.

"Please, I'm sorry. Your brother needed help; he hurt all those people…" JJ started.

"And you stuck your nose where it didn't belong!" he cut her off angrily, wrapping his hand in her blonde hair and pulling on it harshly. JJ cried out in pain as he snapped her neck back from the force.

"Oh, did that hurt Jennifer? I'm sorry." He smiled evilly.

"But you should know, that's nothing compared to the punishment I have planned for you. If I don't kill you then you'll wish you were dead." He said forcefully, his face now just an inch from hers.

JJ tried to turn away, but his painful grip on her hair kept her in place.

"You are quite pretty Jennifer, it's going to be a shame that you won't be for much longer." He taunted as he moved in, his lips lightly touching her nose.

JJ tried to shift away once more but Carter responded by tugging on her hair again, stretching her neck more painfully. JJ cried out again but he muffled her pain by covering her mouth with his.

JJ thought she was going to be sick when he immediately forced his tongue into her mouth. He finished the kiss by painfully biting down on her bottom lip, causing JJ to whimper into his mouth as he drew blood.

"Yes, this is going to be fun indeed." Carter said after he pulled away.

Carter untangled his hand from her hair, not bothering to be gentle. He moved his hand coarsely down JJ's cheek and towards her blouse. JJ immediately began to fight him again, trying her best to use her legs to kick him off of her. Carter grabbed her by the hair once more this time with his gun hand, lifting her head up off the bed. He drew his free hand back and harshly backhanded her, sending her flying back down to the bed.

JJ felt woozy, her ear was ringing and her cheek was tingling from the painful slap. She was dazed and unable to regain her energy as he began to open her blouse. JJ's head lolled back to facing him, her vision a little fuzzy. Her eyes looked down just in time to see Carter's free hand undo the last of her buttons. He pulled the material away from her, staring at her chest and abdomen.

"Please, I'm sorry." JJ mumbled as she still tried to get her wits about her. Carter merely smiled at her wickedly.

"Not good enough" he said as he brought his hand up her stomach and roughly squeezed her breast.

JJ held her breath to keep from crying out when he roughly pinched her. He let his hand linger for a moment, in an attempt to make her feel more uncomfortable. Slowly, he dragged his hand back down her body and towards her legs.

It was then that JJ began to regret that she was wearing a skirt. She saw the look in his eyes and he smirked as he rubbed her calves before moving his hand higher over her knee and to the hem of her skirt, an inch or two above her knees.

"You have very lovely legs. Unfortunately, I'm going to be the last one to enjoy your beauty. And I will enjoy it." Carter smiled as he pushed her skirt up about an inch.

JJ immediately began to fight again, kicking out and barely missing him. This didn't make Carter too happy.

"I would be careful if I were you Jennifer, you wouldn't want to make things worse." He said as he put the gun down at the end of the bed, out of JJ's reach. He went into his pants pocket and pulled out a small switch blade, causing JJ to instinctively hold her breath. Carter saw her tense up and smiled.

"That's right, we wouldn't want to accidently slice up that pretty face of yours, now would we Jennifer." He said, lightly guiding the blade over her cheek as she held her breath.

He pressed the blade into her cheek just hard enough to let her know he meant business without actually breaking the skin. Carter let the blade linger before shifting it to her shoulder. He had an evil look in his eye as he pressed down and brought it across, slicing her bra strap and catching JJ's shoulder in the process. JJ gasped and winced as Carter watched the shallow cut bleed.

"I'm sorry, Jennifer, I didn't mean to do that." He said coldly.

"At least now you know I mean it." He said as he brought the blade to her throat.

JJ held her breath as he pressed it towards her skin. She looked into his cold eyes, seeing no remorse.

"Kiss me, Jennifer." He smiled. JJ's eyes grew wide at his demand. That was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Come on Jennifer, I would hate to kill you already." He said casually.

JJ took a deep breath, knowing he meant it. She couldn't move, so she waited until he lowered his face towards hers. JJ closed her eyes as she puckered her lips and did as he ordered, immediately wanting to vomit. After the kiss broke, Carter smiled as he stared at her.

"Good girl." He said satisfied, in a sense demeaning her. Slowly he trailed the blade down her body, JJ closing her eyes knowing her situation just got worse.

"This, Jennifer, is how you get control of someone and get them to do what you want." He said as he came back down to her skirt. Slowly, he pushed her skirt up another inch letting his hand grip her thigh. JJ instinctively flinched.

"See, you flinched." He said as he looked at her. "It's instinctual I'm sure. But if you raise the stakes a little, you can get anyone to cooperate with what you want." He said as he let the blade trail up her leg towards her thigh.

JJ wanted to flinch but she didn't want to get cut. She also wanted to cry, knowing she was in a perilous situation and that things were about to get worse. She knew that she couldn't though. Carter was looking to break her down and make her hurt. He wanted to see her cry. JJ bit her lower lip as his hand traveled up her.

"See now, Jennifer, if you flinch I might accidently cut you." He explained with a sickening calmness.

"If you move too quickly I could accidently slash open an artery and you could be left to bleed out." He said as he trailed the blade over her knee and towards her other thigh.

"Or, if I happen to be a little too close to your waist, you could accidently lose your ability to have children. We wouldn't want that now would we." He asked as he looked up at her. JJ was on the verge of tears but did her best to hide them as she confirmed she didn't want him to cut her.

"I didn't think so." Carter smiled as he pushed her skirt up some more, coming very close to revealing her panties now. His free hand followed up her thigh, moving towards the inside and lightly teasing a sensitive part of her leg.

JJ couldn't hold back the instinctual flinch when he did this, and the blade that was against her other thigh cut into her. JJ yelped as the blade cut a sensitive part of her thigh, leaving what felt like a two-inch long cut on her leg that wasn't too deep but was bleeding.

"See, now look what you made me do." He said. Carter moved his head down using it as an excuse to look up her skirt and take a look.

"It doesn't look too bad." He smiled. "But we wouldn't want that to happen again now would we?" he asked as he rubbed her leg. JJ nodded her head no, her chest heaving as she did all she could to try and remain calm even as she could feel her inner strength begin to falter.

"I didn't think so." Carter said as he brought his hand back to where she had flinched before.

JJ closed her eyes and willed herself not to move no matter how reflexive she was. She knew he wanted to cut her again. It was part of his game. She moved just a little when he touched her just so, but this time the blade only scratched her skin lightly. After about thirty seconds Carter stopped.

"Good girl, Jennifer, I guess you learned your lesson." He said as JJ opened her eyes to meet his with a defiant glare.

"I guess it's time to move on…or should I say up?" he smiled evilly as he watched JJ try to remain stoic.

Slowly Carter brought his hand back up her and JJ knew he was going to go for her underwear. She tried to prepare herself, knowing if she tried to fight him then he would cut her. JJ began to pray; for a distraction, a miracle, anything to save her from what she thought was about to happen. Just as Carter's hand was a mere inch from its destination there was a soft knock at her door. JJ breathed a brief sigh as Carter reacted immediately, pulling his hand away and quickly bringing it to her mouth to silence her.

"Not a word." He whispered as he held the knife to her throat. JJ prayed that whoever was on the other side of her door wouldn't give up their knocking and think she was asleep. There was another knock this time accompanied by words.

"JJ, can I talk to you for a minute?" came the words.

JJ's heart soared as she recognized Spencer Reid's voice. It wasn't Morgan, but at the same time if something were off, he would be smart enough to notice, especially when it came to her. There was another knock.

"JJ?"

"Fuck" Carter cursed, realizing whoever it was, they weren't going to simply give up. He considered his options as he kept JJ pinned, realizing that he was quickly running out of time. Finally he pulled the knife away.

"Get up, get dressed, and get rid of him. If you don't get rid of him you get to watch him die." Carter whispered into her ear as he stood and pulled her up off the bed.

JJ immediately pulled her skirt back down, grateful for her ability to have some modesty once again. She began to re-button her blouse as he pushed her towards the door.

"That's good enough." He told her hurriedly after she had only buttoned enough to cover her breasts but not her stomach. He pushed her to the door, holding the blade to her back.

"Remember what I said." He reminded her before JJ unlocked the door and opened it halfway.

/

When JJ opened the door Spencer was surprised by what he saw. At first look she looked ravished, as though she had company and he had just interrupted something. His face turned pink as he felt embarrassed for interrupting her.

But when his eyes came back up to her eyes his heart suddenly dropped as he realized something was wrong. Her eyes looked sad and scared, as though she were pleading for him to help her without actually saying so.

"Hey Spence, what can I do for you?" she asked, her voice cracking just slightly.

"Hey JJ, I just wanted to check on you. Everyone else went for drinks and I wanted to make sure everything was ok with you, since you didn't come with us like usual." He said with a little concern, his eyes looking her over more intently now.

At first glance he thought both of her cheeks were red, likely from being out of breath. But when he looked more closely he noticed that only one of her cheeks was red, as if someone had hit her. JJ's hair and clothes were also very messy, which might not have meant much, but it still worried him.

"Yeah, I'm fine Spence, just tired. It was a tough case." She said as her eyes glanced down without moving her head, the feeling of a small, warm trickle running down her leg grabbing her attention.

Reid's eyes followed hers, and when he saw a small trickle of blood traveling down her leg, he almost gasped out loud. He looked back up to meet her eyes; he knew she was trying to hint him to something, and seeing her bleeding had him very worried and on guard now. Something definitely wasn't right. He knew it. But if that were the case then that meant JJ was in danger and he would have to be careful about how to help her.

"Are you sure? If you need to talk I'm more than willing to." Spencer offered as he was now reading her every reaction for any other hints she might give.

JJ felt her spirits lift a little; she could tell Spence knew something wasn't right, but that still didn't take away from Carter hiding behind the door, holding the knife firmly against her back. She knew she had to get Spence to leave without actually getting him to leave. She sighed.

"Spence, this is kind of awkward but I'll be honest with you, I kind of have company right now." She said.

Carter became a little nervous, pushing the knife harder into JJ's back, reminding her that she was on thin ice. JJ tried not to wince as it felt like he was about to break the skin again.

"Oh, really?" Spencer asked trying to sound surprised as he raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah…remember officer Stevens back at the precinct? I invited him over." JJ said with a suggestive look, praying that Carter wouldn't catch on and drop her right there.

"OH! I see… well, uh, I'm sorry for interrupting. I guess I'll see you in the morning then." Spencer said as he affirmed to JJ that he understood; his heart racing as he knew it was up to him to save her.

"Don't worry about it Spence, you didn't know. Have a goodnight, see you tomorrow." JJ stared at him, praying he could find a way to save her.

"You too." He said quietly as he pulled his gun out.

JJ saw it just before she shut the door. She knew one thing; get down as soon as the door flew open again.

"Good girl Jennifer." Carter smiled as he pulled the knife away.

He grabbed JJ by the collar of her shirt and flung her back towards the bed, his back now to the door. The push was rough, but JJ used it to pretend that she lost her balance and she crashed to the floor.

Carter laughed just as he went to turn and lock the door. Before he could the door flew open, catching him in the face and sending him backwards, stunned. Spencer charged into the room, gun drawn, nervous as hell. He immediately located JJ and was happy to see that she had gotten down and was out of the way.

"Freeze!" Spencer yelled as he leveled the gun at Carter.

"You bitch!" he turned and yelled at JJ.

"Hey! Don't talk to her like that!" Spencer responded angrily.

"Put the knife down, it's over." Reid said, distracting Carter while JJ quietly got up and was able to retrieve her own gun.

Carter heard the gun cock behind him and he knew it was over. He grimaced as he looked between the two agents who now had their guns trained on him. Slowly he bent down and put the knife carefully on the floor.

"This isn't over, Jennifer." Carter sneered at her.

"Oh, it is Carter. You're going away for a long time." JJ stared at him defiantly. Their eyes were locked in a stare down before Spencer regained her attention.

"JJ, call Hotch." He told her. JJ nodded and grabbed her phone immediately calling their boss.

Spencer watched nauseated as Carter blatantly looked JJ up and down when she turned her back to him. Spencer wanted to say something to stop him, but he was trying to keep control of his nerves and the situation. He was worried if Carter made a sudden move he might shoot and miss or accidently hit JJ.

Once JJ had called it in they stood in silence as they waited for their teammates and the police to arrive. Luckily, hotel security was there within a few minutes, breaking the awkward silence. The security members handcuffed Carter and handed him over to the local police as the police and their BAU team arrived. Carter was led out of the room, allowing JJ and Reid to finally let out the breaths they had been holding. They each put their guns away, the tension finally leaving the room.

"Are you ok, JJ?" Spencer asked as he immediately approached her.

"Yeah, I'm fine." JJ sighed as she tried to calm her nerves.

"Did he…?" Spencer asked uncomfortably as he glanced down to try to hint what he was getting at.

"No, he just nicked my leg with the knife." JJ answered, looking him in the eyes so he would know she was telling the truth. Spencer felt his spirits lift a little, glad that his biggest worry wasn't realized.

"JJ are you ok?" Hotchner asked as the team entered the room hurriedly.

"Yeah, I'm ok." She smiled weakly.

"What happened?" Emily asked.

"I was getting ready for bed and he attacked me, he was hiding in the closet. He pushed me around a little and threatened me, but I'm ok, thanks to Spence." She smiled at him appreciatively, trying to color over the potential seriousness of her attack. Morgan patted Spencer on the shoulder as the others acknowledged a job well done.

"Well he won't be getting out for a while, that's for sure. I'm just not sure why he went after you." Rossi said as he looked at her, noticing her cut shoulder and wincing slightly.

"He was upset that we locked his brother up. He held me accountable because I was the one who kept the media informed; at least that's what he said." JJ said as she rubbed her head.

"You never know what'll set someone off." Emily shook her head.

"JJ, you're not to blame, you know that right? You were only doing your job." Hotchner said.

"Yeah, Hotch, I know. He was just psychotic and erratic. I'll be ok. Spencer showed up and intervened before he could really do anything." She smiled weakly.

"Ok, well as long as you're alright." Hotchner stared at her once more. JJ nodded in the affirmative.

The team stuck around until the local police was done talking to JJ and finished collecting evidence. It seemed like forever before everyone had left her room, except for Spence. JJ was seated on the bed, staring into space as Spencer let Morgan out, ensuring him that he'd take care of JJ. As soon as Morgan was gone Spencer closed the door and they were alone. Spencer walked over to JJ, a little worried that she was spaced out.

"JJ…are you ok?" he asked as he sat down next to her.

JJ continued to stare for a moment before turning to Spencer, tears in her eyes. She immediately broke down as he wrapped her in his arms.

"Hey, it's ok JJ, it's over now." He soothed as he ran his hand flatly over her tangled hair.

JJ continued to cry lightly into his chest, letting out all of the emotion that had built up during her ordeal. Spencer sat there quietly holding her, giving her the comfort she needed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked once she finally pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I already did." JJ said softly.

"I mean _really _talk about it. I saw what you were like when you opened the door." Spencer said with concern. JJ let out a hitched breath.

"He…"she paused as she thought out how she wanted to tell him.

"He uh, threw me on the bed and roughed me up a little before I even knew what happened." JJ started, her hand instinctively touching her bruised cheek.

"He made some comments about how his brother's arrest was my fault and he was going to make me pay." She continued as Spencer watched her intently.

"He used the knife to get control of me and he tried to use it as a form of mental torture, not just physical….he told me that he was going to disfigure me if he didn't kill me first, so that I would have to suffer." JJ said as she wiped another tear from her cheek. Spencer nodded when she glanced over at him.

"You have no idea how good your timing was Spence." She looked at him appreciatively. Spencer smiled a little.

"I'm glad I could help you." He answered simply.

"He was…he was about to assault me when you knocked." JJ said as she looked down at the floor. Spencer felt his gut drop a little.

"You really did save me. I don't know why you showed up, Spence, but if you didn't I don't even want to think about what would've happened." She shuttered as she looked back towards him. Spencer didn't say anything as he processed what she had just told him.

"Why…why did you show up?" JJ asked him curiously, breaking the silence. Spencer turned and looked at her.

"It just wasn't as much fun going out with everyone without you there. I knew the case was bothering you, I just wanted to make sure you were ok." He spoke honestly. JJ looked at him and smiled.

"Thanks Spence, for everything."

"Sure JJ, you know I'm here for you if you need something." He smiled back.

JJ sighed again as she looked away. She stared off into space for a moment, and Spencer found himself wishing he knew what she was thinking.

"Do you want to stay in my room tonight?" he asked her. She turned and smiled wider this time.

"I realize you probably wouldn't want to stay in this room anymore, by yourself, especially after what happened. You can have my bed…I'll sleep on the floor." He looked at her a little shyly. JJ looked at him, her eyes looking happy and more compassionate and less distant.

"Thanks Spence, I'd like that." She said as she got up and began to pack her things.

"Anytime." He responded as he moved to help her pack her suitcase.

"Just one thing, you're not sleeping on the floor. We're both adults, we can share the bed." JJ smiled as Spencer blushed a little.

They quickly finished packing her things and brought them into his room. Once in his room they took turns changing in private as they got ready for bed. They were both exhausted and JJ wanted nothing more than to put the whole day behind her. Spencer was a little nervous, still trying to calm his nerves at the thought of sleeping in the same bed as JJ.

They both climbed into bed and pulled the sheets over themselves. JJ turned and looked over at Spencer, smiling softly. Spencer could feel her eyes and looked over to see her.

"Thank you again Spence, this means a lot." She said as she moved closer, placing her head on his chest and taking comfort from his protective warmth. Spencer smiled and placed his arm around her back, happy that JJ was safe in his arms.

"Anytime JJ, anytime." He whispered as they drifted to sleep in each other's arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Originally this was going to be a one-shot story, but I've decided to keep it going. I have some ideas written down about where I may want to take this. Please feel free to review with thoughts/ideas/suggestions/critiques.**

**Warnings: I am hoping to keep this story rated T, however I may raise the rating depending on where this goes. Beware of potential violence, language, sex, suggestive themes though nothing too graphic.**

JJ slowly stirred the next morning, relishing the feel of the arm wrapped around her, pulling her close to the body next to her. She lay there on her side, her back to him, not wanting to move yet so as to not wake him.

JJ's mind drifted, thinking how great it would be to wake up next to him every morning. He was so compassionate and caring even if he was socially awkward, and they were both single. She knew she could have this if she really wanted it, but something was always holding her back. She wasn't sure if it was simply her pride standing in her way, or if it were something more. In any case it was something she needed to figure out and get over, especially if she wanted to be truly happy.

The arm that had held JJ tight was slowly beginning to drift over her body, bringing her back to the present, and leaving her intrigued.

She didn't say anything as his hand explored her body. He gently rubbed her shoulder, careful to avoid the healing cut Ray Carter had left there. His hand continued its exploration, traveling along her collarbone and down to her chest, giving her breast a firm squeeze.

JJ gasped; surprised that Spencer was being so bold and also a little rough with how he handled her.

"Good morning to you too, Spence." JJ chuckled a little nervously as his hand traveled down her stomach and towards her waist. She watched as his hand reached the waistband of her sweatpants; trying her hardest to keep her breathing calm as he slid his hand into her pants.

"Uh…Spence, what are you…doing?" she stuttered as he moved his hand lower. The only response she received was his hand running over her, causing her to moan his name and curl her toes in pleasure.

"Spence…" she cooed as he rubbed her again.

He didn't say anything, as he continued to touch her, own her.

JJ was impressed with how bold he was being, she had never seen him this way in her life, but she was feeling increasingly uncomfortable. He was becoming more rough and possessive with each added touch, and JJ was starting to realize something wasn't right; this wasn't him.

"Ow! Spence!" JJ yelped.

She finally rolled over to face him, reaching down to pull his hand away from her. When she looked over, all color in her face disappeared.

She was face to face with Ray Carter who had a big grin on his face.

"Good morning, Jennifer." He cackled.

JJ began to struggle hysterically, trying to get his hands off of her and her body away from him. She gave a valiant effort but he was too big and overpowering for her.

"Time to finish what we started." He laughed, pinning her to the bed and straddling her waist.

"Spencer!" she screamed as Carter held her wrists and pushed her legs apart.

"No…" JJ cried.

/

JJ awoke with a start to someone violently shaking her. She bolted upright in the bed, gasping for air, tears in her eyes.

"Hey, it's ok JJ, you're safe. Just breathe." Spencer tried to soothe. He gently put his hand on her back for support but she flinched instinctively at his touch.

"Ok, ok I'm sorry." He said apologetically.

JJ looked around the room, her eyes searching every inch to make sure there was no trace of Ray Carter. She had to be sure this was real and that she was safe. Once she felt a little more at ease she turned to Spencer who was seated closely beside her.

"I'm sorry Spence…I just"

"It's ok, you had a nightmare. It's understandable after last night. Don't worry you're safe."

"He was here. At least…I thought he was. I woke up next to you only, it wasn't you. It was him. And he…he tried to"

"Hey it was a dream. I'm here, not him. He's in custody, he can't get to you."

JJ took a deep breath and nodded, trying to regain her composure and bring her mind back to reality.

"Thanks, Spence. I'm sorry about earlier." She said as she turned and hugged him, letting his warmth wash over and comfort her once again.

"It's ok JJ you were high strung from your nightmare. I should've realized it. I know it wasn't anything personal." He hugged back, pushing any anxieties he had about their proximity to the back of his mind.

"I hope I didn't wake you." She said softly in his ear before they pulled away.

"No, I was already awake." He smiled at her. JJ returned a weak smile of her own.

Slowly she rose from the bed, ready to dress and leave the hotel once and for all. Spencer watched JJ as she went to her suitcase and grabbed some clothes. Without a word she headed straight for the bathroom, seemingly in deep thought.

"JJ?" She stopped in the bathroom doorway, turning to meet his eyes.

"Are you ok?" he asked with concern.

"I'm fine, I just want to get out of here." She said, closing the bathroom door behind her.

Spencer sighed, not convinced.

/

The team met up for breakfast in the hotel before they left. Everyone was at least a little concerned about JJ, but she insisted she was fine and went on as though she were. As far as the rest of the team could tell, JJ was just like normal and not even slightly on edge, despite what had happened the previous night.

Spencer knew otherwise of course, especially after the nightmare she had woke up from. Spencer didn't tell the others however, not even when Hotch approached him in private and asked how JJ was holding up.

"How is she Reid? Be honest." Hotchner asked as they stood off to the side.

"She's doing well, Hotch; as well as can be expected, maybe better."

"I don't have to remind you we're all profilers Reid, she just experienced a rather traumatic event, generally you don't just wake up fine the next morning. JJ shields her emotions well."

"Don't we all usually? Hotch I'm sure there are things she'll have to deal with, but right now she's doing fine. She's tough; she knows this job can get you into situations like last night. She's prepared, she's been trained. She'll be ok. I'm keeping a close eye on her."

Hotch raised his eyebrow, a little skeptical.

"Ok Reid, I trust that you are telling me the truth. Stay close to her. And if _anything _changes, you tell me right away. Understand? That's an order."

"Yes sir."

"I mean it. I know the two of you are pretty close, but if she's not right and she needs help you have to tell me. I don't want to see her suffer especially if we can help. We all care about her."

"I understand Hotch, I'll keep you updated." Spencer replied as Hotch nodded and walked away, rounding everyone up for their flight home.

Spencer's eyes traveled across the room to JJ. He watched her as she talked with Emily, a thin smile on her face. He couldn't betray her trust. JJ could hide the truth from the rest of the team, but she had let him in, even if it was only a little. He had to be there for her, he was the only one in position to. If he betrayed her trust she would never forgive him and he would be out of her circle.

That was the last thing he wanted, so he lied; for her and for him. Hotch seemed a little skeptical, but he was satisfied that she was doing alright with the condition that Spencer alert him immediately if things did change. If things became really out of hand, then yes Spencer would tell Hotch. But he didn't anticipate that would be the case; he had a firm grasp of the situation.

Spencer walked over to JJ and she met him with a nod. The team finished their breakfast and gathered their things, ready to finally head home.

The plane ride home was quiet. The team all sat in their customary seats, doing whatever they could to pass the time until they arrived home. Spencer sat next to JJ, taking the aisle seat while she sat looking out the window.

JJ didn't want to admit it, but sitting like this made her safe. She could look out the window, watching the clouds in thought, while Spencer acted physically and subliminally as her protector. Anyone who wanted to _get_ to her would have to go through him first.

This logic wasn't lost on Spencer, who knew that their position was JJ's way of subconsciously feeling safe whether she knew it or not.

When her left hand reached down and lightly took his hand in hers, Spencer was a little startled by the contact. He looked over at JJ and their eyes met. JJ's lips curved upward just a little, and Spencer returned a slight, awkward smile. They sat there with their fingers intertwined out of the site of the others, Spencer reading his book, JJ watching the clouds pass.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to all who have reviewed, favorite, and alerted this story. Here is the next chapter. Kind of short but more should be up within the next week. **_**Italics **_**stand for flashbacks/dreams from here on.**

The plane landed and the team went straight to the BAU to wrap up the case paperwork. It was mid-evening when members of the team began to pack their things and head for home.

Spencer was one of the last; he had done so knowing that JJ and Hotch were always the last to leave and he wanted to check on JJ again. He made his way up to her office, pausing before knocking lightly on her door.

"Come in." JJ responded immediately. Spencer turned the knob and let himself in. His eyes met JJ's right away and they both smiled before she went back to packing up her own things.

"What's up Spence?" she asked as she grabbed her jacket and slung her purse over her shoulder.

"Uh, I just wanted to see if you were almost done."

"Yeah, all ready to go home." She nodded as she walked towards him, hitting the light switch on the wall and closing the door behind them.

They walked in silence to the elevator, both feeling a little awkward. It wasn't until they were on the elevator by themselves that Spencer gained the courage to say something.

"How are you doing JJ?" he asked cautiously.

"I'm fine Spence, can't wait to get home and sleep in my own bed." She chuckled as the elevator opened and they stepped into the parking garage.

"Uh, great…um are you going to be ok?" he asked awkwardly.

JJ paused and looked at him curiously, a look on her face questioning why she wouldn't be. Spencer knew it was just part of her game to keep her defenses up.

"I just, I know you're probably still a little on edge. If you…if you need somewhere to stay you can come to my place." He offered nervously.

JJ's face softened and she gave him a compassionate look.

"Thanks Spence, that's sweet of you. I'll be fine though, really. There's no where I feel more safe than in my own home." She locked her eyes intensely on him trying her damndest to convince him her words were true.

"Are you sure JJ?"

"Yeah. I know you care Spence, and I appreciate it, but I'll be fine."

"Uh, ok. Don't hesitate to call me if you need something. I mean it."

"Thanks Spence." JJ nodded before turning and walking to her car trying to remain confident even if that was the emotion eluding her most at the moment.

Once in her car JJ let out the breath she had been holding and her shoulders slumped a little. It had taken all her willpower to appear confident in front of Spence, especially after his offer to stay at his place. She had been so close to taking his offer, but she had to stay true to herself, she had to keep her defenses up; even if Spencer knew more than anyone else. Even if he was turning into her personal confidant and protector, she couldn't let him worry about her too much. She had to get her life back to normal and this was the first step. She could do this, even if in her heart she wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in Spence's comforting arms just like the night before.

Timidly, she started her car and headed for home, nervous and overly sensitized to her surroundings. Spencer watched as JJ drove off. He sighed. He really hoped she was doing as well as she claimed, but he didn't buy it. Not for a minute. He knew he couldn't push her; he had to give her space. All he could do is try to help, and be there if and when she needed him.

/

JJ parked her car, gathered her things, and made her way to her front door after she had checked her surroundings. Her hand drifted to her hip, making sure she had her gun.

JJ unlocked the door, reaching for the wall and turning on every light switch that was there. She struggled with her purse on her shoulder as she locked the door and set the alarm; something she always did although she did so with more haste this time.

JJ put her things down on the table and shrugged off her coat. She tried to ignore the subtle shaking of her hands as she put the coat on a chair.

Slowly, she reached for her gun and made her way to the living room, turning on the lights and doing a sweep of the area. It was the furthest thing from her mind how silly she may have looked or how irrational she was being. She knew she wouldn't feel more comfortable until she had searched the entire house; she had to see that she was safe for herself.

Room after room JJ quietly turned on the lights and searched every inch.

Finally she made it to her bedroom. Her heart began to beat harder; her hands began to shake more. She quickly flipped on the light, whipping her head from side to side, ready for anything. She crouched down, giving a quick peak under the bed. Nothing.

She stood up and turned to her right, coming face to face with her closet. JJ's heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest as she took a step forward.

_Habitually her hands went to her blouse as she prepared to unbutton it so she could put on her sweats and t-shirt. _

JJ struggled to keep her hands steady as she took another step forward. Two more steps and she was within reach of the door. She adjusted the gun in her right hand as she reached out her left hand.

_JJ was just about to open the closet doors when they flew open, out of the closet a man lunged at her with a gun. _

JJ closed her eyes for an instant, taking a deep breath and blinking back a tear.

Quickly she yanked the door open, her finger on the gun's trigger. Nobody was there, just her clothes and shoes.

JJ took a deep breath, putting the safety on her gun before placing it on her chest of drawers. She walked over to her bed and collapsed as she broke down crying.

The house was empty, she was there alone. It gave her little comfort. She didn't even feel safe in her own home. Not yet, maybe someday, she could only hope it would return. For now however, that bastard Ray Carter had taken it away from her.

JJ felt hopeless and alone, and she had only herself to blame.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Big thanks to everyone who is reading/reviewing this story. Here is the next chapter; the next one should be up in a week or so hopefully.**

"_Don't scream or I'll kill you." He said darkly, his face just inches from hers. _

JJ's breath caught in her throat as she tossed and turned.

_She thought she was going to be sick when he forced his tongue into her mouth, painfully biting down on her bottom lip, causing her to whimper into his mouth as he drew blood. _

"No…" JJ mumbled.

_She felt woozy, her ear was ringing and her cheek was tingling from the painful slap. She was dazed and unable to regain her energy as he began to open her blouse. Her head lolled back to facing him, her vision a little fuzzy. Her eyes looked down just in time to see Carter's free hand undo the last of her buttons. He pulled the material away, staring at her. _

"Please…no…not again." JJ started to become more frantic.

_Slowly, he pushed her skirt up another inch letting his hand grip her thigh. _

"No! Stop it!" JJ shouted as she jumped up in bed, completely out of breath and drenched in sweat. She turned on the lamp beside her bed, quickly looking around to find it empty once more.

She let out a deep breath as she put her head in her hands. Things were going to get better, they had to. It was only her first night by herself, of course she was going to have nightmares; she had been through a traumatic experience. She could do this.

JJ slowed her breathing, gradually feeling more relaxed. After a few moments she felt better. She didn't want to go to sleep but she knew she had to. If she went into work off her game and with large bags under her eyes the team would know she wasn't ok. That wasn't an option as far as she was concerned.

JJ got up and went into her bathroom, returning to her bedroom with a glass of water and a sleeping pill. She didn't normally take them, but she did occasionally especially if the previous case had been particularly horrific.

JJ swallowed the pill and washed it down with the water. After taking a few more calming breaths she reached down and picked up her tangled sheets from the floor. She wrapped the sheets tightly around herself and curled up, already feeling more at ease, even if she was missing the warm body that had been next to her the night before. Her eyes became heavy, the pill started to work, she fell asleep.

/

Spencer Reid lay in bed wide awake and staring at the ceiling. He rarely did either. After all he had been through as a child the cases impacted him less and less as he had grown accustomed to compartmentalizing. If something did bother him enough to keep him awake, he would normally read a book or find an activity that would keep his mind busy until he was too tired to continue.

Not tonight though. Instead his thoughts remained on JJ and the events of the previous night. To the best of his ability he had calculated the odds that he would stop by to talk to her just when she was in distress and needed him the most. The odds that more hadn't happened to her and that he had been in the right place at the right time were incredibly small, and for that they were both incredibly lucky.

He still found it rather hard to believe, but one thing he had come to learn was that some things just couldn't be explained no matter how hard you tried. He hated to admit this of course, as his whole life revolved around knowledge and answers. However this was one such phenomenon that was beyond explanation.

So instead his thoughts drifted back to JJ herself. How much he cared for her, how devastated he would have been if he hadn't been there to help her, how much he wondered just how traumatized she truly was.

Every time he closed his eyes the scent and feel of her sleeping next to him would flood his senses as if she were still actually there with him; even though she wasn't. No matter how much he wished it. Even as he laid there awake, anticipating, no hoping, that his phone would ring and it would be JJ on the other end asking him to comfort her again.

He knew it was a selfish thing to hope for, but if there was one thing that could come from this incident, it was the potential to bring them closer. A chance for them to knock down some of the barriers that kept them merely as co-workers and friends.

It was something Spencer had always hoped for but had never been able to work past. While he was helping JJ with some of her demons, maybe he could overcome some of his insecurities. He could only hope. For now however, he would have to be content with drifting off to sleep alone, another long day ahead no doubt.

/

JJ awoke the next morning feeling slightly more refreshed, even if she still endured the occasional haunting dream throughout the night. The sleeping pills had done well to relax her and to put her into a mostly dreamless state. There was still the occasional flash of Ray Carter in her subconscious however.

As much as she hated it, JJ knew it would take time before she no longer saw his dark eyes, or felt his hands on her skin. The cuts and bruises he had left on her were starting to heal and fade, but they were still faint reminders as JJ prepared herself for work.

She wouldn't let herself to become distracted with these thoughts though, not now. She was a creature of routine. So she focused on that. She showered, got dressed, gulped down breakfast, and headed off to work with her coffee and purse in hand.

Driving to work JJ kept the radio on, listening to soft music as a way of keeping her stress level down and her mind ready for whatever the day would bring. Before she knew it she was back at the BAU.

As she walked through the bullpen, she looked from desk to desk, happy to see that per usual she was at the office before most of her teammates. Gradually the others arrived as JJ began to go through the large stack of files and cases mixed together on her messy desk. After some time had passed, JJ decided to go down and join the others in the bullpen. She made sure her eyes confidently met each of theirs as she said good morning to everyone.

"Any cases today JJ?" Morgan asked.

Although he wanted to ask her how she was doing, he was sure it would only anger her to be constantly badgered by the same question. They all knew what the others were thinking. JJ could feel Hotch studying her from the corner of his eye. She ignored this, refusing to let him get to her just as she would if he were an inquiring member of the press.

"Not so far Morgan, but don't jinx it. I know we're all sick of traveling." She smiled.

"You have that right. I feel like we haven't been home for a few days in a row for a few months now." Morgan replied.

"Part of the job." Rossi said simply.

"Yeah, probably my least favorite." Morgan chuckled.

"Well, there's plenty of paperwork to be done, keep yourselves busy." Hotchner said.

"Thanks Hotch, way to be a buzz kill." Emily teased as Hotchner smiled before walking away.

Rossi lingered for a minute before he too departed.

JJ hung around for a few minutes, enjoying the friendly small talk before reluctantly deciding that she should also get back to work.

"I'll see you guys at lunch." She smiled as she headed back to her office. Morgan watched as Reid's eyes followed her.

"Reid man, I don't know how you ended up at her room the other night, but I know we are all very glad you did. I can't even think of what that bastard would've done to her if you weren't there. She seems like her same self." Morgan said as they exchanged looks.

"We all are." Emily chimed in.

Reid simply nodded, not knowing what else to say as his mind drifted.

He had wished he could talk to JJ to check up on her, but he didn't want to make it too obvious and he didn't want to appear nagging; especially with the whole team around. He would wait until the end of the day and maybe he could talk her into grabbing some coffee so they could talk as friends. Just so she had someone to help her get back to normal.

Spencer turned back to his desk, burying his head in paperwork hoping the day would pass quickly until then.

/

Spencer drove home alone. The end of the work day had come and gone, and he had missed his opportunity to talk to JJ.

Sure they had met at lunch and occasionally interacted throughout the day like usual, however there was always someone else from the team around making getting any alone time with her impossible. This was aided by her finishing on time and leaving when he had made a quick run to the bathroom.

She never finished her work on time. There was no such thing when it came to the amount of work she had.

Spencer wasn't sure but he wondered if maybe she was trying to avoid him. He wasn't going to accuse her of anything, but the thought was certainly in his mind. He knew she was trying to put everything behind her and maybe she just needed some space. If she needed him she would tell him; he hoped.

He could call her if he was really worried, but she looked good at work. She looked rested and confident as always which was a great sign.

As he had told Hotch, JJ was tough, they all knew it. Maybe she was bouncing back and didn't need his help after all. He just didn't know.

/

JJ sighed as she arrived home. Once again her senses were elevated even with the radio in her car providing company.

Today had been a good, productive day overall and for that she was happy. She had gotten through a lot of the files and paperwork that had accumulated on her desk. She had kept her mind busy and that combined with the occasional visits with her teammates throughout the day had brought her normalcy.

JJ knew they were all watching her closely to see how she was doing, especially Spencer. She felt kind of bad. She could tell that he had wanted to talk to her in private, but there wasn't much to be said in her mind. She didn't want to tell him she had another nightmare, she didn't want to appear weak. She didn't want to admit that instead of taking a sleeping pill she had almost caved into his thoughtful offer and called him in the middle of the night in seek of comfort.

No instead she wanted him to be proud that she was tough and that she was working through it, on her own. That was why she said little on the subject, instead engaging him in small talk when she had seen him, and leaving when she found out he was in the bathroom instead of waiting to say goodnight.

She would talk to him she vowed, maybe tomorrow if she felt up to it.

For now, it was time to make dinner, relax, and try to get a full night's sleep; hopefully on her own. JJ shut off her car, gathered her things and stepped out, ready to begin the previous night's routine all over again.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Here's the next chapter. Hopefully this isn't too slow it should pick up again soon. Reminder this is rated T, minor warnings for subject matter and possible language.**

_Carter smiled as he pushed her skirt up some more, coming very close to revealing her panties. His free hand followed up her thigh, moving towards the inside and lightly teasing a sensitive part of her leg. _

"Don't touch me…" JJ mumbled a she rolled over in bed.

_Just as Carter's hand was a mere inch from its destination there was a soft knock at her door._

"_Not a word." He whispered as he held the knife to her throat._ _JJ prayed that whoever was on the other side of her door wouldn't give up their knocking and think she was asleep. _

_They lay there silently for an excruciatingly long moment, Carter's body pressed against hers. JJ waited, hoping against hope that someone was still at the door. After another moment passed Carter smiled and JJ's heart dropped. She was alone with him. _

"_False alarm." Carter chuckled into her ear as he forced his hand back up her skirt and pulled at her panties. _

"_This might hurt a little." _

"No! Don't go! Please! Spence come back!" JJ yelled as she startled awake, gulping for air, her heart almost pounding out of her chest.

She sat up, sweat beading on her forehead as she reached over and turned on the lamp. Her eyes scanned the room confirming that she was alone and it was only another nightmare.

JJ tried to calm herself, pacing her breathing with deep breaths as she ran a hand through her hair. She knew it was only a dream. She had to deal with it; she didn't want to become reliable on sleeping pills. She could do this, no matter how intense the dreams were. It wasn't real, it didn't happen. She continued to talk herself down as her heart rate began to slow and the sweat on her brow evaporated.

Finally, after some time had passed, JJ turned off the lamp and settled back into bed, willing herself to get some rest. It worked, at first, but within a few hours the dream returned.

_Carter brought his hand back up her and JJ knew he was going to go for her underwear. She tried to prepare herself, knowing if she tried to fight him then he would cut her._

"Please, not again." JJ pleaded.

_There was a soft knock at her door._

"_Not a word." He whispered as he held the knife to her throat._ _JJ prayed that whoever was on the other side of her door wouldn't give up their knocking and think she was asleep._

"_JJ, can I talk to you for a minute?" JJ's heart soared as she recognized Spencer Reid's voice. _

_Her breathing picked up. _

_They lay there silently for an excruciatingly long moment, Carter's body pressed against hers. When another knock didn't immediately come JJ knew what she had to do. She didn't want to endure what she knew was going to happen, she had to risk it. _

"_Spence I'm in here! Please help me!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. Carter was furious. _

"_Wrong move, bitch. Fun's over." He sneered. _

_The door swung open just as Carter brought the knife across her throat. _

JJ's eyes shot open and she immediately brought her hands to her throat. When she didn't feel a sticky substance or smell the scent of copper she exhaled. She stared at the ceiling for a long time, frustrated and exhausted. She had to sleep. The dreams wouldn't stop.

She didn't want to do it but she had to. It was that or call Spencer.

JJ sighed as she forced herself out of bed and into the bathroom, filling a glass of water, and downing another sleeping pill.

/

The next morning came too quickly for JJ. She nearly overslept her alarm as a result of the pill, and she didn't feel nearly as rested after waking up multiple times throughout the night.

Slowly JJ dragged herself out of bed and began her morning routine.

For whatever the reason, the morning didn't seem as cheerful as the day before. She had slight bags under her eyes that required a little extra make up, her coffee didn't taste all that great, and the weather outside was overcast and dreary. As opposed to yesterday, things had spun almost a complete one-eighty.

JJ drove to work telling herself to get it together. With her team's heightened sensitivity towards her moods they would pick up on something being off with her in no time. That was why she forced herself to smile and greet everyone good morning when she saw them, even if it was opposite of how she felt.

JJ made it to her office, pleased that her façade had worked. She had just sat down at her desk and settled into her chair when there was a knock at her door. JJ rolled her eyes; maybe she wasn't so lucky after all.

"Come in." she called, forcing herself to sit up and look cheerful and engaged.

The door opened and Spencer stepped in, closing the door behind him.

"Uh, hi JJ, do you have a minute?" he asked hesitantly.

"Sure, have a seat." She motioned, forcing herself to be friendly.

"Thanks." He said as he sat across from her.

They sat there in an awkward silence for a moment, Spencer didn't know exactly how to start and JJ didn't really want him to.

"JJ I…"

"Spence, I'm doing ok. I know you're worried and that's very sweet of you, but really, I'm getting back to normal."

"Uh, ok. Are you sure? If there's anything you need…"

"I'll let you know. I know the offer stands, I appreciate it. I'm not trying to sound like a bitch, but people asking me how I'm doing everyday just prolongs the recovery. I'm not a victim. I've been trained how to handle situations like that. I'm ok, really. I'm tougher than I look." She chuckled.

"I know you are JJ. And when I ask you if you're ok or how you are I'm not trying to bring back memories or say you're not tough. I'm asking because I care. I wanted to talk with you yesterday, in private, and I kind of got the sense that you were trying to avoid me, that's all. I wanted you to feel like you can come to me, not that you have to avoid me." He said as he forced himself to hold her gaze, even if it made him a little uncomfortable.

"You have a good heart Spence, a gentle heart. That's what I love about you. I wasn't trying to avoid you yesterday and if I hurt you or gave you that impression then I apologize. You're my closest friend on the team. You probably saved my life the other day. I appreciate that. I owe you." She said as she glanced down at her desk.

Spencer sighed, knowing what he had to say, as hard as it was.

"You don't really owe me JJ. If you feel like you do then owe me this, let me know you're in trouble if you are. Don't let yourself suffer. It doesn't make you weak, I learned that after the Henkel case when you helped me. Nobody has to know; whatever you have to tell me will be between us." He said softly.

JJ took a quiet, deep breath, trying to keep emotions in check and her guard up as much as his words threatened to make it collapse.

"Thanks Spence, I'll keep that in mind." She said without meeting his eyes.

She felt so vulnerable, exposed. He could see right through her and they both knew it. No amount of make-up, fake smiles, or small talk could distract him from the reality of her situation. He had struggled with Henkel, he knew the signs.

JJ knew Spencer had her back and would never do anything to hurt her. But to admit to him that something was wrong would be to admit to herself that she wasn't in control; something she lived off of.

Spencer sat there a moment longer, watching her. He knew he had struck a chord, but he also knew that JJ could be very stubborn. He didn't want to push her too much.

After another moment he stood from his seat and let himself out of her office. As much as he wanted to do more for JJ, he couldn't until she let him.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thank you to everyone for your continued interest and reviews for this story. **

Spencer awoke with a start to the sound of his phone ringing. He groaned as he rolled over to check the clock on his bedside table; it read two-twenty.

He watched as the phone continued to ring, slowly vibrating across the table as it did so.

Finally he reached over and picked it up, glancing at the screen; JJ. Immediately his mind jumped into focus as he hastily answered it.

"JJ? Is everything ok?" he asked hurriedly.

"Spence…I need you…" she said softly, her voice thick with emotion.

"Are you ok? I'll be there in ten minutes." He said before she could answer, springing out of bed and grabbing for some clothes.

"Physically I'm fine Spence, I just…can't sleep. Every time I do…"

"You have nightmares." He finished as he pulled some pants on.

"I'm sorry I woke you…you don't have to come over. This, uh, this might've been a bad idea." She stuttered, hating how the insecurity she felt sounded over the phone.

"JJ it's fine. I told you if you needed anything I'd be there. I'll be right there."

"Ok." JJ said simply.

Her heart was warmed by his words and a smile tugged at her lips as he hung up. He was so kind, and quite possibly, too good for her if she were going to be honest with herself. She needed him though. She knew she would have to let her walls down and let him in, but right now it was a sacrifice she was willing to make.

/

No more than ten minutes had passed when there was a knock at JJ's door. She had been sitting on her couch, wrapped in her robe while she waited for him.

She stood slowly and approached the door cautiously, making sure to look out the peephole and make sure it was Spencer before she opened the door. Once she had confirmed it was him, she unlocked the door and opened it.

"Hey Spence, thanks for coming." She forced herself to smile.

She tried to ignore the slight discomfort she felt from his eyes appraising her, looking her over for any harm. Spencer picked up on this and blushed slightly.

"I came as soon as I could." He said as he entered, his eyes fixed on her tired-looking ones.

"You did fine." JJ said as she closed and locked the door behind him.

"Please, have a seat. Would you like something to drink?" she offered as her hand directed him over to her couch.

"Uh, some hot chocolate would be nice I suppose."

"Sure, no problem." JJ said quietly as she moved to the kitchen.

Spencer took the time to scan JJ's house from his seat on the couch. It was very modern, very practical; very her. There were a few pictures and a couple of trophies that made the room more personal. Besides that and the furniture, there was little else in the room, making it uncluttered and surprisingly neat. This was likely because of all the time they spent away from home he surmised. His eyes continued to wander until JJ reentered the room with hot chocolate for the both of them.

"Thanks JJ." He nodded as she handed him his drink and took a seat beside him.

They both sat there in awkward silence sipping their hot chocolate.

"So…um, do you want to talk?" Spencer broke the silence finally.

JJ sighed, shifting so she was more comfortably sitting with her legs close to her.

"I guess. I just…don't know where to start." She said as she looked away from him.

"Wherever you feel comfortable. I'm here to listen, and to give advice if you want it. Whatever you tell me will stay between us, I promise."

"Well, I guess you can tell that I'm not alright like I've been letting on…" she paused.

"I don't know if I would say I lied to you about how I'm doing I just…misled you. I thought I could get through this on my own, but I guess I can't."

"Ok, there's a start." Spencer said quietly.

"I just didn't want to appear weak. I really thought this was something I'd be over in a few days, I didn't mean to lie to you or hurt you." She finally looked over at him.

"Don't worry, you didn't. I went through the same thing after Tobias, I know how it feels. A lot of it is human nature and the way we've been trained for this job. We're supposed to be self sufficient and independent. This goes against that."

JJ nodded; glad that he appeared to understand and hadn't taken anything she may have done personally.

There was another pause as JJ sipped her hot chocolate.

"I'm frustrated with myself I guess. Or maybe it's the exhaustion from waking up every few hours every night since it happened. I just want to get past this and have things go back to normal." She sighed as Spencer nodded.

"Do you want to talk about the dreams? Maybe it'll help."

JJ froze for a second and if Spencer didn't know any better he thought he saw JJ shutter as if she were having a flashback.

"JJ?" he finally said, snapping the distant look from her face.

"Um…I guess. There's not much to tell they're just…nightmares." She said as she shifted uneasily.

"I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable JJ, I'm just trying to help. Part of the healing process is to face the problem head on, you taught me that." He coaxed tenderly. JJ sighed again and nodded.

"I just…haven't slept well any night since it happened. I probably slept the best when we slept together." She said quietly, a slight blush reaching her cheeks when she realized how those words sounded. She looked over at Spencer who also looked rather pink in the dim light.

"Not…not like that. You know what I meant." She stuttered with an uncomfortable smile.

"I know…what you meant, please continue." Spencer chuckled uneasily.

"Anyway, I've been having different dreams and they all have different outcomes. One time you knocked, but gave up, and he…" She couldn't say the words.

"Another time the same thing happened but I called out to you and he killed me before you could do anything." She choked away the lump in her throat before continuing.

"The most recent one I was able to fight him off…but he ambushed you as you came in to help me and he…killed you." JJ glanced at him.

Spencer tried to keep his expression neutral.

"I know they're just dreams, but they seem so real and they keep haunting me at night. Even when I'm awake I don't always feel safe. Everyday I've come home and searched every inch of my house just to make sure it was safe. I know it's silly, but I don't feel safe without doing it. I'm just sick of this." JJ gushed, finally letting out everything that had bottled up inside her over the course of the last few days.

Spencer studied her quietly for a moment, watching as she sloshed what was left of her hot chocolate around in her cup, an attempt to ease her discomfort.

"What you're doing isn't silly JJ. You need to feel safe, now more than ever. You may think what you're doing is silly, but if it's necessary for you to convince yourself that you are in a safe place, it is in no way silly."

JJ continued to stare at her hot chocolate.

"I just wish you would have called me over sooner; especially that first night back. It's better to not be alone, so you can go about your routine safely and so you can convince yourself that everything is ok now. You seemed determined to be independent though. I tried to push you a little, but I didn't want to push you too far I didn't want you to shut me out."

"I wouldn't have shut you out." JJ said quietly.

Spencer raised his eyebrow.

"Ok, maybe I would have. I'm just so used to being in control of everything; my life, the things that happen. He basically took that away from me, my sense of security, confidence. I know nothing actually _happened _per say, but it was still enough to rattle me I suppose, even if I didn't want to face it and admit it."

"That's the thing JJ you're in denial. You say nothing happened when obviously something did. He assaulted you and took your sense of security away. That is _something_. You're just looking at it through the perspective of what could've happened worst case. Your dreams are a reflection of your mind running through all of the potential scenarios that _could've_ happened but didn't. You just need to clear your head and work past it. Stop thinking about what could've happened, try to live with what did, and do what it takes to move on and get back to the _normal _you miss."

"And how do I do that?" JJ mumbled as she looked away again.

"Whatever you need, I'm here for you. Whether it's just to talk or if you need someone to be around you for a while as you recover…I'll help you. Just you and me…I promise." Spencer said as he struggled a little with the last part.

He felt more confident now that JJ had opened up to him and he was giving her advice, but the part of offering his assistance to her still made him feel a little awkward. This was JJ; confident, beautiful JJ. The woman he always crushed on but could never have. She was his best friend on the team, but nothing more from a relationship perspective. He was beyond happy that she needed him, that he could maybe actually help her, he just wished the circumstances would have been different.

"That's sweet of you Spence…I don't really know what to say." JJ finally looked up.

"If you…could stay here for a while, at least for tonight, I would really appreciate it."

"Uh, yeah if that's what you need…absolutely." He stuttered as he finished his hot chocolate.

JJ stood up, grabbing both of their cups and walking to the dishwasher.

"I can just sleep here on the couch if that will make you feel better." Spencer called after her.

"No, I couldn't ask you to do that. The couch is kind of small; you'll wake up with a crick in your neck. We can share my bed…as friends." She smiled shyly as she reentered the room. Spencer's face became flushed as he suddenly felt very self conscious.

"Uh…are you su-sure that's what you want?"

"We're both adults Spence, I promise I'll keep my hands to myself and you better make sure you keep yours to yourself if you want to keep them." She smiled.

"Uh…ok."

"Thanks Spence." JJ grabbed his hand and helped him up, leading the way down the hallway and into her bedroom.

Spencer became increasingly nervous with every step. As he entered her bedroom, he tried to push his discomfort to the back of his mind, even if he was well aware another barrier that had been keeping them apart from being more than just friends was slowly fading away.

"Sorry I don't have any clothes that would fit you…I hope you'll be comfortable." JJ turned to him as she watched him scanning her room as if he were making mental notes.

"Uh, no, that's ok…I'll be fine." He stammered.

JJ nodded before carefully getting into bed as Spencer stood there for a moment.

"It's fine Spence, really. If I didn't want you here then I wouldn't have called you." She encouraged when she noticed he still hadn't moved.

"Ok…"

Slowly he approached the bed, entering it from the other side. He pulled the covers over his thin frame, staring at the ceiling for a moment as he tried to calm his frantic heart. Her scent, the aroma of the room, the personal objects, the feel of her pillow and sheets; all these things were coming together to overwhelm his senses and his ability to process thoughts.

After they had settled in for a moment JJ reached over and grabbed Spencer's arm, draping it over her body. Spencer rolled over onto his side so he was more comfortable, and JJ nestled her body into his.

Spencer felt increasingly nervous, praying his body wouldn't react the way it was programmed to. He tried to take his mind elsewhere and before he knew it, JJ was fast asleep, their warmth and closeness sending her into a deep, peaceful sleep.

Spencer took a deep breath, her wonderful scent invading his sense of smell. He was exhausted, and although his mind was still going a mile a minute, he gradually drifted into a deep sleep of his own.


	7. Chapter 7

Spencer held JJ close as they slept throughout the night. On the occasion that she would begin to toss or mumble in her sleep he would gently rub her, soothing her back to sleep.

In response she would move closer to him, pressing her body against his and closing any distance between them. Spencer lightly groaned in her ear when her bottom rubbed on his manhood, causing a smile to grace her face as she continued to rest comfortably. They lay like that the entire night, both enjoying their closeness.

The next morning JJ awoke happy and as rested as she had been in days. She slowly rolled over to find Spencer awake, his mind in thought.

"Good morning." She smiled.

"Good morning to you, did you sleep well?" He looked at her, his eyes captured by her gaze.

"I did, probably the best I've slept in at least a week."

"How were the nightmares?"

"Not as bad, it helped that you were here." She smiled. "Thank you, I needed that Spence."

"You're welcome. Hopefully you can get your sleeping pattern back towards normal so you won't need these for a while." He said, pointing to the bottle of sleeping pills on her bedside table.

JJ gave him an uneven look.

"I wasn't…abusing them. It was the only way that I could get some sleep."

"It's ok, I trust you. I didn't mean to imply that you were. I just hope you'll call me again before you become reliant on them. Taking them occasionally is fine, but taking them too frequently could have side effects and harm your sleep patterns." He stated.

"Thank you for the lesson Dr. Reid." She teased.

"I'm serious…I wasn't trying to be funny."

"I know you weren't, I'm sorry. I promise I'll be careful. This worked a lot better anyway." She said gesturing between them.

"I'm not saying this will be a habit or anything, but it worked for the night. Thank you for caring. And I really appreciate that you stayed, I know how awkward this must've been for you…" She stared at him.

He felt like her eyes were looking into his soul and the feeling of self consciousness returned.

"I'm just…not used to this. I'm pretty socially awkward as everyone knows."

JJ smiled at him compassionately.

"You don't give yourself enough credit Spence. You've changed a lot since the day we met. And you continue to change every day. I don't think the old Spencer Reid would've come over, listened to everything I had to say, comforted me and given me advice, and shared a bed with me as friends. You're a great guy."

JJ closed the distance between them and gently placed a soft kiss on his cheek. Spencer blushed, unable to say anything as he watched her get up, running a hand through her mussed hair as she walked to the bathroom. She looked so beautiful, even first thing in the morning, and he was glad that she hadn't noticed the typical male bodily reaction he had to waking up first thing in the morning.

Spencer groaned as he rolled over, he really didn't want to get out of bed yet. He was more than happy to just lay in JJ's comfortable bed and bask in her soft sheets and wonderful scent. He had always dreamed of being here, but never did he realistically think that it would ever happen. Now it had, and although nothing had really _happened_, Spencer was smart enough to know that their relationship was changing, maybe even evolving depending if things went to the next level.

Spencer for one would like nothing more. However he still wasn't sure if JJ felt the same way; or if she were merely growing closer to him because of what had happened and she needed him to help her recover, and nothing more.

Spencer sighed, knowing he had to get out of bed. He could hear the shower running and he knew JJ would be out shortly and they would have to leave for work.

Spencer pulled the sheets off and stood, letting his feet rest on the floor for a second. After a pause, he stood, stretching his limber frame. He turned to the bed, noticing its messy state. He was sure JJ would appreciate it if he made the bed, so he did.

Once he had finished, he stepped out of the room and walked to the kitchen, making them coffee for the long morning ahead. He pondered leaving after the coffee had brewed so he could run home and grab a shower and a change of clothes. It was only six-thirty and he didn't have to be in until nine, so he reasoned he could share coffee and a quick breakfast with JJ before rushing home and then to work.

After another couple of minutes JJ entered the kitchen, looking as beautiful and professional as ever, a large smile on her face.

"It smells great in here Spence! You didn't have to make breakfast. Or make the bed." She hugged him as he finished cooking the eggs he had started.

"I figured you'd be hungry. Personally I needed a coffee anyway and I didn't want to just leave while you were in the bathroom without saying anything." He said as he served the eggs and she sipped her coffee.

"Well this was certainly very thoughtful of you Spence. You sure know how to make a girl feel special." She smiled as he blushed when his eyes met her happy ones.

Who said he couldn't score some points with her?

Spencer felt his heart flutter, glad that he had made her happy, and encouraged that she seemed to be in the best mood he'd seen her in days. They spent the next half hour sharing breakfast and small conversation. Talk seemed to come easily, and although Spencer still felt self conscious, he felt as comfortable around JJ as he ever had.

After breakfast Spencer cleared the table and put everything in the sink. He began to roll his sleeves up to clean the dishes when JJ stopped him.

"Spence you've done plenty. I'll do these later. Go home and get cleaned up."

"Are you sure? It won't take me long."

"I'm positive. Thank you for everything." She smiled at him as she led him towards the door.

"You're not trying to get rid of me are you?" he teased as they reached the door.

"Never. I'm just trying to do you a favor so you're not late for work." She smiled.

"Ok, well if you insist." He shrugged as his hand reached for the doorknob.

JJ grabbed his wrist and spun him around to face her one more time. Quickly and gently she placed a light kiss on his cheek.

"I'll see you at work. Thank you again, for everything." She smiled warmly before shoving him out the door.

Spencer's head was spinning as before he could react he was by himself outside on JJ's walk way, his cheeks red and a wide grin plastered on his face. Slowly he walked back to his car, the whole time all he could think was damn how he loved her.

/

The next few days were relatively uneventful, at least when it came to cases.

Rossi had gone on vacation, Morgan and Prentiss worked on their training, Spencer gave a few lectures to a couple of schools, and JJ had been working on a consulting assignment. Her sleep patterns had almost returned to normal and her nightmares had gradually faded away with the help of Spencer.

While they both refused to acknowledge that his visits were becoming more regular, he had spent two of the previous four nights in her bed. Each night they grew closer emotionally, both opening up and learning more about the other, while denying anything physically and keeping everything strictly in the "friends zone".

JJ was feeling more comfortable and accustomed to having Spencer around, and she especially loved rolling over to find him sleeping peacefully next to her. For now they both seemed content to let things stand the way they were. If they both truly wanted to be together, then one of them would have to be bold and make a move, and so far neither of them had gathered the courage to make such a move.

Maybe it was Spencer's social awkwardness and self consciousness holding him back.

Or maybe it was JJ's stubbornness and general reluctance to establish a long-term relationship because of her lack of trust in men, and her current focus on putting in long hours and all of her energy into her job.

Whatever the case although their relationship continued to grow as they spent more personal time together, there was little question that they were beginning to hit a wall, they just hadn't recognized it yet.

/

The weekend passed and Monday came before JJ knew it. She had spent the weekend on her own, as Spencer had made a quick trip to Las Vegas to visit his mother, and JJ felt recovered from the incident almost two weeks prior. She slept without nightmares, and her cautious searches of her house had ended. Memories of Ray Carter and his threats were history as far as she was concerned.

JJ enjoyed a nice, relaxing weekend and she was more than ready to return to work and get back to solving cases and helping people. As she entered the office she greeted everyone warmly.

"Good morning everyone." She smiled at Emily, Morgan, and Spence, her eyes lingering a moment longer on the latter.

"How was everyone's weekend?"

"It was ok. I had to spend the weekend at one of my mother's events so you can imagine how exciting that was." Emily grimaced as she thought back to her boring weekend.

"Oh, I am sorry for you." JJ frowned, knowing how much Emily hated going to her mother's events.

"What about you Morgan?" Emily asked.

"I caught up with an old buddy of mine. He was in town for the weekend so we hit a couple of bars, went to a basketball game, good times." Morgan chuckled.

"That's good. What about you, Spence? How's your mother doing?" JJ asked as she turned to him.

Spencer's eyes met hers and he gave a small smile. He tried to read her, wondering –hoping- that maybe she had missed him, but JJ was doing a good job of hiding her emotions from him.

"Uh, she's doing well. Just the same old really, she still struggles with things and she'll never get better, but I try to visit her a few times a year. She really looks forward to my visits."

"That's very sweet of you. I'm sure she appreciates it."

Spencer pursed his lips but didn't say anything, not wanting to dwell on his relationship with his mother in front of the others. JJ picked up on this and immediately dropped the subject.

"Well guys, I have a pile full of files waiting for me in my office. I should get to work." JJ smiled as she excused herself and walked away.

Spencer's eyes lingered on her for a moment as she left, something both Derek and Emily picked up on. They exchanged looks but said nothing as they all settled into their work.

/

A few hours had passed and JJ continued to pour through case files; a necessary evil of her job. She was focused on reading the file in front of her when her phone rang, grabbing her attention.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Jennifer Jareau?" the voice on the other end of the line inquired.

"It is, how may I help you?"

"This is Detective Rogers from the Hartford PD; we have a potential case that could use your team's help."

JJ felt herself cringe inwardly as the stress in the detective's voice made her feel a little uneasy.

"Ok, can you give me some of the details?"

"Well, we have someone targeting women around the area. He kidnaps them, rapes them, sometimes repeatedly, and then kills them and disposes the bodies in local alleyways. So far four different women have turned up dead in the last month, all between the ages of twenty-five and forty."

JJ felt her heart drop and her hands began to shake a little. When she remained silent, the detective continued.

"Every victim was career oriented, and from what we can tell, abducted as they left work or returned home at night. The most recent victim was this past weekend, the body of whom we found this morning. My chief believes it's time we called you guys in before this gets any further out of hand."

There was a long awkward silence once the detective had finished.

"Ms. Jareau?" he said finally, snapping her out of her stupor.

"Oh, uh, sorry. Yeah, please fax me what you can and I will quickly look it over and present it to my unit chief Aaron Hotchner and the rest of the team. I'll call you back in an hour to let you know what he thinks." JJ said quietly as she attempted to pull herself together.

"Thank you very much Ms. Jareau, we could really use you guys here." Detective Rogers finished in one last attempt to convince her to take the case.

JJ hung up the phone and buried her head in her hands for a moment. It was the phone call she had been dreading but knew would eventually be coming. She had just hoped that it wouldn't be so soon. Unfortunately she had no such luck.

A serial killer rapist for their first serious case in two weeks, what had she done to deserve this? She would have to review the case to be sure, but she was almost certain the team would be taking the case, which meant she would have to face her just buried demons once more.

JJ sat there for a moment, lost in thought until the file was faxed into her office. Once she received it, she began to look through the pages, searching for important details, and viewing some of the horrible pictures that would sometimes haunt her dreams. Yes, this was a case they would be taking, she knew it. As she continued to scan the file, making notes to herself as she did, there was a knock at her door.

JJ cleared her throat before responding.

"Come in." she said, hating how her voice cracked just a little.

The door opened and Spencer stepped into the room. As soon as he saw her, he knew something was wrong. JJ's face was pale and she appeared to be nervous. The shining cheerfulness he had seen in her eyes a few hours before was gone.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately as he closed the door behind him to give them some privacy.

"I…uh, we have a case Spence." JJ said looking up at him.

"What kind of case?" he asked although he was pretty sure of the answer.

"Somebody in Hartford Connecticut is raping and killing women, leaving their bodies in alleyways when he's done with them."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm…yeah. I just can't believe this would be our first serious case after everything that's happened. I knew this would come, I just didn't think so soon." She confessed.

"JJ, don't take this the wrong way but if you need to sit this one out I'm sure the team would understand." He offered. JJ glared at him.

"That's the last thing I want to do. I want to catch this bastard. And I don't want the team to think I can't do my job."

"They wouldn't think that JJ. I'm sure they would understand this case might be a little personal for you after what almost happened during our last case. I'm just trying to offer you some suggestions. Personally, I know you'll be fine. I'll be there…if you need me. Besides, facing your fears is the best way to overcome them. Maybe this will help you."

"Maybe. There's no way I'm not going on this case though. I'll be fine. Everything still remains between us, right?" she looked at him intently.

"Of course JJ, I already told you that. I've been a man of my word haven't I?"

"You have, I just wanted to make sure. I don't mean to be so defensive…"

"It's ok, I understand. And by the way, thank you for changing the subject when we were talking about my mother earlier."

"I could tell it was making you kind of uncomfortable. How is she doing, really?"

"She's…tough to deal with sometimes. That's always been the case but it's something you can never get used to. I love her. I always will. I just can't be around her for more than a few days anymore."

"I'm sorry Spence."

"It's ok."

"I know we keep saying this to each other lately but if you need anything…" she chuckled and Spencer smiled back, understanding the irony.

"Do you want me to go through the case with you?" he offered. JJ smiled.

"Sure, as long as you don't distract me. I have to be ready to talk to Hotch in a few minutes."

"I would never distract you."

JJ laughed.

"Sometimes you can be more distracting than you realize."

"What does that mean?" he looked up from some of the papers she had handed him.

"Nothing." JJ chuckled as he looked at her questioningly.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Sorry about the wait, the holidays are making it a busy time of year. The next chapter should be up sooner hopefully, thank you for the reviews and continued interest.**

JJ presented the case to Hotchner, and as she expected he agreed that it was a case they had to take.

She was a little surprised when he didn't ask if she could handle it, and for that she was very appreciative. She could feel his lingering glances as she told him some of the case details, as if he were trying to read her.

She knew Aaron Hotchner was a smart man. They both had a lot of respect for each other. So in a sense, she kind of understood why he didn't ask her if she was ok; he was confident she would be. And it was that confidence he had in her that helped to build her own confidence. The last thing any of them needed was to doubt each other's abilities. Doubt brought trust issues which ceded mistakes. Mistakes could get someone killed.

Aaron Hotchner was smart enough to recognize this. That was why he simply analyzed the case, agreed to they should take it, and told JJ to gather the team in the conference room.

/

The team sat in their usual spots as JJ brought up the projector and presented the case.

"This is Rebecca Reynolds. She was a twenty-eight year old advertising specialist. She was abducted from a parking garage outside of work. She was missing for two days before her body turned up in an alleyway about five miles from her work in Hartford, Connecticut. The medical examiner says she was raped repeatedly and beaten before being strangled to death." JJ finished as the team glanced at the picture of the brunette on the screen.

"There have been three other victims since then. All businesswomen, all abducted within the last few weeks, all raped, beaten and found dead in alleyways." She continued.

"His type –assuming it's a male- seems to be the age of the women and the fact that they are all professional, working types. In terms of physical appearance there isn't much in common. Different eye and hair color, they're all white, but that's about it." Spencer commented.

"He takes the women during the evening or at night; either from outside their houses or their places of work. That means he's bold, but also that he watches them at least a day or two in advance so he knows when to grab them." Emily stated.

"Unless he abducts them as soon as he spots them." Morgan said.

"That's a possibility, and it would explain why there isn't really a physical type." Spencer nodded.

"Maybe his trigger is he had a former female boss who he either didn't get along with or was fired by. It might explain why he dumps them almost like trash in an alleyway when he's done with them. He rapes and beats them to prove that he is the dominant one, not them." Rossi analyzed.

"Is there any pattern to the locations of the dumpsites? Or the amount of days there are between abductions?" Emily asked.

"There doesn't appear to be any pattern to the dumpsites, he likely does this on purpose so he's harder to find." Spencer noted as he looked at a map of the area.

"As far as we know, he keeps the women for about two to three days before he kills them. As soon as he kills them he dumps the bodies immediately and abducts his next victim within forty-eight hours of the dumpsite being found." JJ said.

"The most recent body was found this morning about five hours ago, meaning we have less than forty-three hours until he abducts his next victim. Wheels up in half an hour. That is all." Hotchner said as the team packed their things and left the conference room.

"Reid, can I speak to you for a moment?" Hotchner said out of ear shot from the rest of the team.

"Sure." Spencer said as he followed Hotch into his office.

"How's JJ, Reid. She appears to be fine, but I need to know that this case won't cause her any problems or undue stress." Hotchner said cutting right to the chase.

"She's fine Hotch. I know we agreed I'd tell you if something was wrong, but there really isn't. I've been around her, we've talked a little, and she's moved past it. She is more than ready for this case, and she wants to catch this guy as much as the rest of us." Spencer said staring right at Hotch as he said it.

"Ok. I'm not going to lie and say I'm completely satisfied however. I know sometimes someone may appear to be ok, but then something like this comes along and it triggers memories, especially if those memories have been repressed." Hotchner said.

"Hotch, she's fine, I promise you. She hasn't repressed anything. I've talked to her; she's faced this head on. She'll be ok. She needs this or else it could cause problems. We can't have the others needlessly doubting her, or have her doubting herself for that matter." Spencer replied.

"Trust me Reid, I know that. I think she's ready for this case as well, but I have to make sure. I'm going to treat her just as I always will and I am certain she will continue to exceed expectations as she always does. With that said, I want you to stay close to her at all times on this one. If she's out in the field or doing interviews, you will be there." He said as Spencer merely nodded.

"I don't think I am putting too much responsibility on your shoulders. I still expect you to do the great job you always do, no distractions. I want you to know however, that I also expect you to watch out for her, just in case."

"Understood." Spencer nodded again.

"And if something does happen, if the case does begin to affect her, I need to know right away; for her sake and everyone else's."

"Yes sir, I promise, I'll handle it. I can do this." Spencer said confidently, more than glad that sticking close to JJ was one of his top priorities for the case.

"I know you can, that's why I'm having you do it." Hotchner smiled slightly.

"Let's go." He said patting Reid's shoulder as they left the office.

/

The team arrived in Hartford, Connecticut within the hour, and found themselves at the local precinct a few minutes later. Hotchner and JJ led the way in, and were greeted at the door by Detective Rogers; a handsome man in his thirties, who looked very much like the typical detective.

"Ms. Jareau, I'm assuming." The man smiled as he shook her hand.

"Yes, nice to meet you. This is unit chief Aaron Hotchner, and agents Rossi, Morgan, Prentiss and Reid." JJ introduced as they all shook hands in succession.

"Thank you all for coming, we certainly need the help." Rogers stated as he began to lead the team to the conference room he had designated for their use.

"Have there been any new developments?" Emily asked as they entered and began to set up.

"No, not so far. We have interviewed the victim's families, but have uncovered next to nothing. I have the local ME looking closer at the bodies for any evidence that may have been overlooked. The most recent dumpsite remains blocked off as well. I can take you there if you would like." The detective offered. Hotchner nodded his approval.

"Morgan and I will go. Rossi and Prentiss will go meet with your ME to get any details on the bodies. Reid, you will stay here with JJ and I'll have both of you coordinate with Garcia the dumpsites, any potential victims we may have missed, and try to compile a potential suspect list."

Everyone nodded their agreement and split their separate ways.

/

Hotch and Morgan arrived at the cautioned off dumpsite about five miles away from the precinct. There was nothing to really distinguish the alley from any other typical alley that could be found in the city. The agents stepped out of their SUV led by Detective Rogers. Both agents looked around as they crossed the caution tape.

"What do you think?" Rogers asked as they approached the blood-stained pavement.

"Right now I don't think there's anything special about the site. It's very possible he picked this site at random. He didn't really care where he dumped the body, as long as it was in an alley and not clearly visible." Morgan said.

"He's definitely a local. He knows the area. He doesn't have to have great knowledge of the area because he simply dumps the bodies in alleys. However, to abduct and kill four women over the course of more than a week means he is definitely living and probably working around here." Hotchner said.

"He is also smart enough to dump the bodies late at night. As far as we know there have been no witnesses. This means he waits until the area businesses are closed and most everyone is at home before he dumps them. Obviously this greatly reduces our ability to catch him right away." Morgan added.

Rogers nodded grimly.

"I've had my men question people from the area businesses at all the dumpsites, so far no leads. We also checked the security cameras, but they came up with nothing."

Hotchner nodded as he looked around some more.

"Unfortunately right now we don't have a lot to go on. Unless we can find the car this guy is using, or we can narrow down our list of suspects, this won't be too easy." He said, hoping Rossi and Prentiss were having a little more luck than they were.

/

"All of the women ultimately died from strangulation. By the marks on their necks, we can tell that the first woman was strangled by using some type of rope. The other three however were likely strangled by hand as indicated by the bruising." The medical examiner explained as Rossi and Prentiss looked on.

"Using his hands was more personal. He felt more of a release from the power he felt in having their lives slip through his fingers; he discovered this after his first victim." Rossi said.

"Were there any other differences?" Emily asked.

"Not specifically, no. Each woman was raped more than once as evidenced by the trauma to their bodies. They were also beaten. There are various bruises and cuts, but there aren't any real patterns. He simply brutalizes them and when he is done he strangles them." The woman shook her head sadly.

"I'm assuming there have been no DNA matches?" Emily asked.

"No we ran the samples through the system, and there are no matches to anyone in our criminal database. They all do match each other however, confirming that it is the same person who is doing this."

"Is there anything else you have found that may help us?" Rossi asked.

"No, I'm afraid not." The medical examiner replied.

"Ok, well thank you." Emily said as she shook her hand. Both agents let themselves out, frustrated that they had seemingly little to go on.

/

JJ watched Spencer as he put dots on the map he had set up on a bulletin board; red dots for the dumpsites, blue dots for the abduction sites. JJ walked over and stood beside him.

"Do you see any patterns?" she asked as she tried to see one for herself. He looked over at her.

"Not really unfortunately. If you look at the bigger picture you can see that everything is in Hartford within about a fifteen mile radius, but that's still a lot of area to cover."

"Nothing is triangulated? Or pentagoned?" she asked.

He stared at the board for a long moment.

"Uh, no, not that I can tell. And I don't think _pentagoned _is a word, it's pentagonal." He said seriously as JJ chuckled.

"I was kidding, Spence." She said as she patted him on the shoulder.

Spencer turned to look at her, a wry smile on his face.

"Very funny."

"Do you think we have enough for Garcia to work on?" she asked.

"It's tough to say without knowing for sure what the trigger is. We can assume that he is targeting business women either because he is or was working for a female boss. Or perhaps he is married to one, though I find that unlikely."

"Why is that?"

"Because if he were, she would likely know something was wrong, unless she was dead or too busy to notice which just doesn't seem likely given the violent nature of the crimes. I can almost guarantee he is single." Spencer reasoned as he thought out loud.

"Ok, so why don't we run with the boss angle then?"

"I agree, that's a good place to start. We know that the victims themselves don't appear to be connected. They work at different places, weren't connected to each other personally." He pondered.

"So maybe they all worked for female bosses, or were?" JJ said.

"Maybe, but again, I don't think so."

JJ sighed, a little frustrated.

"There must be something."

Spencer thought for a moment.

"I'll call Garcia and have her look into each company that the victims worked at. Maybe there is something we are missing." Spencer dialed Garcia as the rest of the team walked in.

"Did you find anything?" JJ asked as she greeted them.

"So far not too much. He's definitely a local, and we know he dumps the bodies at night when nobody is around." Morgan said.

"We also know he rapes and beats them for control, and then he strangles them, with his hands, as his ultimate release and final act." Emily chimed in.

"Have you found anything?" Hotchner asked.

"Unfortunately we don't have a lot to go on either. We know he operates in about a fifteen mile radius, but not much else besides that. Reid's on the phone with Garcia, he's going to have her dig deeper into the victims' workplaces to see if there are any commonalities." JJ responded as Reid got off the phone with Garcia.

Hotchner looked at the team.

"Alright, we'll pick this up again tomorrow, it's getting late. Let's get some sleep and start fresh in the morning." He said as everyone nodded in agreement.

/

They had arrived at the hotel, and JJ couldn't help but to feel a little nervous as they headed to their rooms.

She knew they were double rooming so Emily would be there to keep her company, but she still felt a little uneasy.

JJ was exhausted from the long day, and she hoped that would allow her to fall asleep without any problems. The nightmares had almost disappeared completely, but this was the first time she had stayed in a hotel since then, and she prayed that it wouldn't trigger her to relapse.

The team stood outside of their rooms. JJ turned and her eyes met Spence's, who would be rooming next door with Morgan. She smiled weakly at him, nodding goodnight before she entered her room with Emily.

"Mhm, classy." Emily commented sarcastically as she looked around their unimpressive room.

"Hopefully we don't have to stay here more than a day or two." JJ said as she put her bags down beside her bed.

Emily nodded as she sat on her own bed, taking off her shoes.

"Are you going to unpack?" she asked as she looked up at JJ.

JJ glanced at the closed closet doors.

"Uh, probably not. Hopefully we won't be here that long."

"Please, don't jinx it." Emily smiled as she stood and walked over to the closet.

JJ felt her breath hitch as she watched Emily. Emily opened the closet as if it were nothing, putting her bag inside.

"I'm going to take a quick shower." She said.

JJ let out the breath she had been holding.

"Of course, I'll probably just wait until the morning."

Emily nodded, grabbed a few things, and entered the adjoining bathroom.

JJ sighed as she heard the water turn on. Slowly she opened her suitcase and began to change into more comfortable clothes.

Once she was done, she neatly folded her clothes and went through her bag of toiletries. She paused when she came across the bottle of sleeping pills she had packed just in case.

She took a deep breath.

She really didn't want to take one, but she was feeling a little on edge and she needed her sleep. She also didn't want to have a nightmare, especially in front of Emily. If Emily found out she'd have to answer questions –and likely answer to Hotch- and that could result in her being taken off the case.

She felt better, she really did. She felt like she was past most of this, but she knew there was still that lingering feeling that would take a while to fade away. She couldn't risk it.

JJ grabbed the bottle of water she had with her. She poured out a pill and swallowed it, settling in for bed while Emily was still in the shower. Gradually, she fell asleep to the background noise of the running water in the other room.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Again, sorry for the wait. I have a few chapters written beyond this so hopefully I can update a little more frequently. I like to try to stay a couple chapters ahead so I can consistently update if I get busy and can't write on a given week. **

"JJ…wake up."

JJ felt somebody shaking her and jumped awake.

"Hey, I didn't mean to startle you but it's getting late." Emily smiled.

JJ groaned as she sat up.

"What time is it?"

"Just past seven. Hotch wants us to meet for breakfast at eight before we head back to the station and I know you need time to shower and get ready." Emily explained as JJ suddenly noticed that Emily was already dressed and ready to go.

JJ rolled out of bed and began to grab her things.

"You must've been tired. You were out like a light when I was done with my shower last night, and at first I didn't think you were going to wake up this morning." Emily said as she watched her.

JJ stood and moved towards the bathroom.

"Yeah, I was exhausted; it was a long day yesterday." JJ smiled weakly as she entered the bathroom.

"I'll make sure there's coffee ready." Emily called after her.

"Thanks!" JJ shouted through the door.

She was glad she had slept through the night without any problems, but now she felt like she was dragging and foggy brained. She couldn't wait to have a very strong cup of coffee. However right now she had to focus on getting ready in the limited time she had. As she jumped in the shower, all JJ could think was how badly she wanted to solve this case quickly and return home.

/

The team met for a quick breakfast at the hotel before arriving at the precinct. The talk through breakfast had been focused solely on the case as the team continued to try to get into the mind of the unsub. They all felt frustrated that they hadn't made more progress, and they all knew the clock was ticking before the unsub kidnapped his next victim.

As they arrived at the station, the team went back to their area to set up and call Garcia. JJ excused herself for a moment, deciding to grab another cup of coffee before they got started. JJ stood at the coffee station on her own for a moment before Spencer approached and stood beside her.

"Someone loves their coffee this morning…did you sleep well last night?" he asked her quietly.

"Uh, yeah, I slept fine actually." She said without looking up.

"Really? That's great."

"You sound a little surprised."

"I…I just know this is your first hotel stay since the case, I wasn't sure if maybe that would cause you to have you some memories, it'd be perfectly normal if you did." He coaxed.

"No, I didn't have any problems. I'm being honest I promise you. I have Emily rooming with me anyway. It helps to have someone else there." She said as she finished stirring her coffee.

Spencer was about to add something when Emily walked over to join them.

"Guys, Hotch is getting impatient." She said as she watched JJ take a sip of her coffee.

"I hope that stuff is strong JJ." She winked at her as JJ felt a little uncomfortable.

"Why's that?" Spencer asked.

"Because she was out like a light when I came back from showering last night, and I had to wake her up this morning." Emily chuckled.

Spencer gave JJ a long look as she felt her cheeks turn a little red. She hated how he could see right through her, he knew her too well. He knew she had taken another sleeping pill to get to sleep.

"I wish I could sleep like that." Spencer finally said.

JJ gave a small nod, thankful that he hadn't questioned her, especially in front of Emily. She knew he would probably want to talk later, but she was grateful he realized that now wasn't the time or place.

They walked back to the conference room together in silence, coffee in hand. JJ's eyes briefly connected with Hotch's as they entered the room, but he quickly looked away and got the team on task. They began the day by calling Garcia to see if she had uncovered anything that may help them.

"What do you have Garcia? You're on speakerphone, baby." Morgan said.

"Well I looked into the different workplaces of the victims just as Spencer asked me to. None of the women worked for a female boss or were themselves bosses. They all worked steady jobs and had been there for a while. The jobs they worked were all business related but that's basically where the relationship ends. They all made steady pay, but nothing really stood out."

"Nothing at all? Even something that may seem inconsequential could help us at this point." Spencer said.

"Not really, I mean the economy out here isn't great like much of the country, all of these companies have been reducing staff and freezing wages, but that doesn't stand out from any other business around here." Garcia said.

"It could be a trigger if our unsub lost his job or if he were replaced by someone else." Emily said.

"That's kind of a reach though isn't it? We don't exactly have any proof do we?" Morgan asked.

"We also don't have much else to go on." Rossi countered.

"I dug through the local news of the past month or so, no tragic deaths of mothers or children, no other suspicious deaths reported as far as I can tell." Garcia added.

"So it probably is work related then?" JJ asked.

"It increases the likelihood I would say since we can't seem to find a trigger, and that would've definitely been a trigger. Somebody doesn't just go around killing people all of the sudden. Something personal has to have happened to him. If it's not family related, then it must be work related." Hotchner explained.

"So we continue to go with the work angle?" Emily asked.

"Until we have more to work with, yes." Rossi nodded as Detective Rogers walked in, a cold look on his face.

"We've found another body." He announced.

/

"He's speeding up. This one also appears to be more personal." Emily commented as she stood with Hotch, Rossi, and Morgan at the scene.

"It's barely been twenty four hours since we found the last body." Detective Rogers commented as Rossi nodded.

"He likely knows he is running out of time. He knew that the more victims he's had the more attention it would draw. He'll be focused on whoever his real target is if he hasn't gotten to her already."

"And that's a good thing?" the detective asked skeptically.

"Not for his potential victims, but for us yes. It means he'll be more rushed which means he will be more likely to make mistakes and leave clues." Hotchner said.

"You said this one appears to be more personal, how?" Rogers asked Emily.

"You can tell by some of her visible injuries. He strangled her with his bare hands, but he did so with such force that he snapped her neck. Also, the beating she sustained, especially to the face and other specific areas would suggest that he knew this victim, it wasn't at random like the others may have been." Emily explained.

"Which means we have something to work with." Hotchner said as he dialed Reid's number.

/

"Ok, understood, thanks Hotch." Spencer said as he hung up his phone.

"Stacy Greene, twenty nine years old, worked at Morris Investment for the past five years." JJ said as she pinned the photo of their latest victim to the bulletin board.

"Hotch says that this victim was more personal than the others so we may have a lead." Spencer said as he walked over. JJ nodded.

"Maybe she was a co-worker?" JJ asked.

"If she wasn't they were almost certainly acquainted somehow." Spencer said as he called Garcia.

"What can I do you for?"

"Hey Garcia, we need you to look into a company called Morris Investment. Our most recent victim, Stacy Greene was employed there. We need to know everything you can find; what division she worked in, who she worked with, if there were any layoffs recently, who works the higher end jobs there, anything and everything you can find, please."

"Ok, absolutely. Just give me a few minutes sweetie pie and I'll call you right back."

"Thanks, Garcia." Spencer smiled as he hung up the phone.

JJ continued to look through what little information they had on Stacy Greene as Spencer put two more dots on the board to represent the dumpsite and her place of work. They stayed silent for a long moment before Spencer turned and looked at JJ. He knew this probably wasn't the best time, but…

"JJ…I know you took another sleeping pill to help you sleep last night." He said quietly.

JJ sighed loudly.

"I don't think this is the time or place for this Spence."

"I know…I just…I want to help. I don't want to see you become dependent on them. You're doing great, but you need to continue to face this head on."

"I'm trying. It takes some time. I'm not abusing them, and yes I'm worried that if I'm not careful I could. But I'm being careful and I'm not using them all the time. I…I stopped taking them since you've been coming over. I just…started again last night because I was feeling nervous and I didn't want to have a nightmare in front of Emily. I'm ok; I'd tell you if I wasn't. We've been over this." She said, looking straight at him.

"Ok…I…had to make sure, that's all. I don't mean to annoy you; I'm only doing it because I care."

"I know you do, and I appreciate that you do, that's why I'm being so honest." JJ smiled, trying to put him at ease as she grabbed his hand in hers.

Spencer felt his hand tingle, as he became lost in her eyes. They were both snapped out of their daze by the sound of the phone ringing. JJ let go of Spencer's hand and put it on speakerphone.

"Yes Garcia."

"Ok, so I dug into Morris Investment and there are some definite connections. Morris Investment has been operating with a _less is more _strategy over recent months. They have been downsizing their staff while taking on more and more clients. This past month they laid off another hundred workers, while doubling up on the responsibilities of those who still work for them."

"What does Morris Investment do exactly?" JJ asked.

"That is where it gets good, my sweet. Morris Investment deals with the retirement plans of other companies, specifically there in Hartford. All four victims worked for companies who had their retirement plans invested by Morris."

"Really? That's a bit of a coincidence, isn't it?" JJ said as she looked at Spencer.

At that moment the rest of the team arrived as did Detective Rogers.

"It's more than a coincidence. As I said Morris Investment is a large company, however Stacy Greene worked in the division that worked on all four of those retirement plans. Further, that specific division was downsized by twenty percent as ten people were laid off at the beginning of the month, about three weeks ago."

"Do you have the names of the ten people who were laid off?" Hotchner asked.

"Not yet, but I'm working on it."

"Garcia, who is the head of that division?" Emily asked.

"Uh, Patricia Simmons."

"We need to talk to her." Morgan said.

"I already tried my dear; her receptionist wasn't too helpful and her cell phone went straight to voicemail so I left a message." Garcia said.

"Ok, good work Garcia. Get back to us as soon as you have the list of names." Hotchner said before hanging up.

"We should go to Morris Investments, she could be in trouble." Rossi said as Hotchner nodded in agreement.

"We should have the parking garage under surveillance and put increased patrols specifically in that area in case he's waiting to strike." Morgan said.

"I'll send some extra units out right now." Detective Rogers said as he left.

"Ok, the rest of us will go to interview and escort Ms. Simmons out of the building. We'll keep her here until we catch this guy."

The others nodded.

"Hotch?" Spencer called as Rossi, Morgan and Emily left.

"I need you guys to stay here while we wait for Garcia to get that list of names." He explained.

"Is that really necessary?" JJ asked, sounding a little annoyed.

"Yes, it is."

"Hotch, I know what you're trying to do. You don't want me in the field, do you?" JJ questioned.

"JJ…I need you both here. I'll have you back in the field. I just think it's better if you stay here this time."

"Hotch I'm fine!" JJ said growing angry.

"I know you are, but I'm just being cautious. I'm trying to ease you back in. You're very valuable to this team and we all care about you. I want to make sure nothing happens to you. What happened scared all of us, including me."

"I can't do my job if you restrict me." JJ backed off a little.

"You've been doing a great job. You're one of the strongest people I know. I promise, you'll be back in the field, just not on this one." Hotchner said as he looked over to Reid.

"You both stay here; we'll be back in a little while." He ordered before leaving.

JJ huffed as she paced around the room.

"This is bull." She said as she sat back down.

Spencer looked at her for a moment before looking back to Hotch.

"Stay here, I'll be back in a second." He said as he raced out to catch up to Hotch.

JJ looked after him, curious as to what he was up to.

"Hotch?" Spencer called after him.

"Reid, I told you to stay here. I don't need to argue with you on this right now too."

"I…I know I was just thinking…shouldn't someone go to Patricia Simmons' house just in case the unsub shows up there instead?"

Hotchner sighed, Reid was right.

"You're right. I'll send Prentiss and Morgan." He said finally.

"Hotch, please, let me and JJ go. It shouldn't be dangerous and she really needs this; right now she's feeling stung by your lack of confidence in her."

"It's not a lack of confidence, Reid. I'm more worried for her safety. If something were to happen to her, again, I'm not sure even she would be able to recover from it."

"Hotch I promise, we'll be careful. If something should come up I'll call you immediately. She has to get back on the horse sometime. Heck, she technically wasn't even in the field when she was attacked!" Spencer became more adamant as Hotchner sighed.

"Ok, fine. Take her to Patricia Simmons house but if anything is even the least bit suspicious you call me right away." Hotchner relented.

"I will." Spencer nodded.

He turned back and went to get JJ.

"C'mon JJ, let's go." He said, getting her attention.

"Go where?"

"We're going to Patricia Simmons' house just in case the unsub is waiting for her there." Spencer stated as JJ looked at him with a surprised look on her face.

"Did Hotch approve this?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes. I convinced him to let us go. The only condition is if we do see something suspicious we call him immediately." He said as he gathered his things.

"Ok, let's go then. Thanks for going out on a limb for me Spence." She smiled at him as she stood.

"Let's just be careful, we don't want to do something that will make Hotch angry at us."

"No, no we don't." JJ agreed as they left the precinct.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Thank you again for all of your reviews and continued interest in this story.**

The team arrived at Morris Investments, Hotchner leading the way into the multi-story corporate building.

"Can I help you, sir?" A receptionist asked as she eyed the group of serious-looking people approaching her desk in the middle of the lobby.

"I'm Aaron Hotchner, this is my team. We're with the FBI and we're looking for a Patricia Simmons." He explained calmly.

"Uh, her office is located on the fourth floor, is something wrong?" the receptionist asked nervously.

"No, we just need to speak to her right away." Hotchner said without getting into details as he didn't want to panic the whole building or alert the unsub if he were close by.

"Um ok, take the elevator to your right. Her secretary should be straight ahead once you reach the fourth floor, I'll let her know you're coming."

"Thank you." Hotchner nodded his appreciation as the team quickly made their way to the elevator.

After a quiet moment, the elevator reached the fourth floor and the agents stepped towards a pretty, but equally nervous looking secretary.

"You must be the FBI agents I presume." She said as she looked at them.

"Yes, I'm Aaron Hotchner, these are agents Rossi, Morgan and Prentiss. We're here to see Patricia Simmons." Hotchner said as he made quick introductions.

"And what is this regarding? I don't have any knowledge that Ms. Simmons was expecting anyone today." The secretary stated as she tried to remain guarded until she knew what they're business was.

Hotchner glanced around the room for the moment, making sure there wasn't anyone else within earshot. When he was satisfied, he responded.

"We have reason to believe that Ms. Simmons may be in danger."

"Danger? What kind of danger?" the secretary paled a little.

"We have reason to believe that someone may be trying to kill her; potentially someone who worked here who was recently laid off." Emily spoke up quietly.

"Wait, what?" the woman's mind sputtered.

"Can we talk to Ms. Simmons, please?" Rossi asked, putting pressure on the young woman in front of them.

"Uh, no unfortunately you can't. She called out sick this morning." The woman said, her face becoming increasingly more pale as the gravity of the situation began to weigh on her.

"Does she normally call out?" Morgan asked, becoming more worried.

"Not usually, no. But everybody gets sick at one time or another and she didn't sound great when I talked to her on the phone."

"You talked to her?" Rossi asked.

"Yes, of course."

"How did she sound? Did she sound sick? Or did she sound stressed, as if something else were wrong or maybe she was being coerced?" Hotchner questioned.

"Uh, I'm not sure, I really didn't notice."

"Have you tried talking to her since?" Emily asked.

"No, I had no reason to. I just assumed she would be back tomorrow." Hotchner looked at the rest of his team.

"We need to get to her house, in case she is there. If she is, JJ and Reid will need back up if he's there with her." He said.

"If who is there with her?" the secretary asked worriedly.

"We're still not sure of that, but as we said before we think it was someone who used to work here who was recently laid off. Was there anyone in particular who might come to mind?" Rossi asked.

The woman thought for a moment.

"Not really. I mean, nobody wants to get laid off, but nobody really stood out when she told them they were being let go."

"Was there anyone who consistently clashed with Ms. Simmons or seemed to have a short fuse?" Hotchner asked.

He was becoming anxious. If Patricia Simmons wasn't here and was indeed at home, JJ and Reid could be walking right into something which was exactly what he had been hoping to avoid. He hoped that Reid would call him like he promised, but he still had some doubt in the back of his mind that he would; at least not right away.

"There was one guy, his name was Roger Dowells, who seemed to get on Ms. Simmons' nerves, but that was only because he was a bit of a ladies' man and rather unfocused. Uh, the other guy that comes to mind is Daniel McBain. He had a bit of a temper and he threw a bit of a fit when he found out he was being let go." The secretary said after a moment.

Hotchner nodded.

"Ok thank you, we will look into it. There will be an increased police presence around the building for the time being, and we will also notify the building's security team to be on their toes. We would appreciate it if you kept this to yourself for the time being. We don't want to cause a panic or alert our potential suspect that we are on to him. Can you do that?" Hotchner asked as he stared at the woman intently.

She nodded nervously.

"Thank you. And thank you for your help as well." Hotchner finished as the team stepped back onto the elevator.

"Morgan, call Garcia and have her look into Daniel McBain and Roger Dowells just to be certain. I'm pretty sure McBain's our man." Hotchner said as Morgan nodded.

"Who are you calling?" Emily asked as she watched Hotchner dial his phone.

"Reid. I need to give him a heads up that McBain may be there and that he and JJ need to use caution if they approach the house. I'm going to have you and Morgan take a police team to McBain's house once Garcia has an address. Rossi and I will go to Patricia Simmons' house." Hotchner said as they stepped off the elevator, his phone continuing to ring without a response from Reid.

/

Spencer and JJ pulled up to the address Garcia had given them for Patricia Simmons shortly after the team had arrived at Morris Investments. They shared a look before glancing out the window at the modern-looking house that sat in what appeared to be an average, peaceful neighborhood.

"Here we go." JJ said as she unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the passenger side of the car.

They walked up the stone walkway leading to the front door, carefully looking around in search of any potential threats while getting a gage of their surroundings. When they reached the door they both froze. The door was slightly open and they could hear movement in the house. Spencer and JJ exchanged looks, immediately pulling out their guns.

"I think the unsub might be in there." Spencer said to JJ as she nodded in agreement.

He wanted to tell her to go back to the car and wait, he wanted to keep her safe, but Spencer knew JJ could take care of herself, and that she would be insulted if he told her to go to the car. Instead he took a breath as he gathered his thoughts.

"We should call Hotch." He said as he turned to her.

JJ frowned a little.

"We might not have that kind of time, you know the odds Spence. We don't want to give away our position to the unsub either." She tried to reason with him.

Spencer knew JJ's logic was rather thin, that more than likely she wanted to do this to prove to herself that she could handle the situation. He knew they were short on time as she had suggested, but he also knew they could be setting themselves up for trouble by not calling for back up.

"Spence, we can do this." JJ stared into his eyes intently, trying her damndest to convince him.

Spencer thought of the odds, the options, of how much this meant to JJ even if it could be dangerous and that it could piss off Hotch. There were two of them, they were both trained, and they did have the element of surprise. He wanted to do this for JJ, even though it went against logic and his better judgment, and so, he agreed with some hesitation.

"Ok JJ, we'll do it, but one of us needs to cover the back, in case he tries to escape or double back on us." He said.

JJ stared at him for a moment.

"You realize what happened the last time we split up, don't you?" she said, thinking of Hankel.

"I do, but if he sneaks out the back we might not catch him, or even worse he might try to attack us from behind. We have to from a tactical standpoint even if history tells us that may be an unwise decision."

JJ sighed before relenting.

"Ok, I'll take the back this time though. Hopefully the back door is unlocked, if it isn't I'll try to find a window to squeeze through."

"Ok. Please, be careful JJ." He pleaded as he looked at her.

JJ's lips curled up into a thin smile.

"You too. I'll see you in there." She said before crouching down as she made her way around the house cautiously.

Spencer watched her for a moment, giving her a chance to get into position before he carefully pushed the door open, and slowly entered the house.

As soon as he entered, Spencer knew the unsub was in the house and his fears were increased. He was in the woman's living room; her furniture was overturned but the TV was on and a plate of food sat on a nearby table. Patricia Simmons had either been interrupted or she had left pretty quickly if she still wasn't in the house.

Spencer slowly walked through the room, his senses on high alert as he began to clear the house from his end. He heard some movement coming from the other end of the house, but he wasn't sure if it was JJ or someone else.

Slowly he walked in that direction, briefly looking down the hallway to his left and seeing no one. He took a few more steps forward, noticing that the kitchen was open on both ends, meaning there were two exits from the room and he had only one of them covered.

Spencer suddenly found himself silently praying that JJ had made it into the house because he knew if she was still outside, then he was currently in a great disadvantage. He had an urge to whisper for her, but he knew he couldn't without giving up his position.

Spencer took another hesitant step forward, causing a floor board to creak. He cringed at the searing noise it made through the relative silence of the house.

Spencer took a deep breath, his heart rate picking up. It was then that he heard a sudden movement from the hallway, coming in his direction. He whipped around quickly, but it was too late.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Here is the next chapter, thank you again for the continued interest. Hopefully this is what you were looking forward to.**

JJ felt as though her heart was ready to pound out of her chest. She had made her way to the back of the house, and she took a moment to try to compose herself before she entered. Once her nerves had calmed a little, she reached for the handle on the door. It didn't turn; it was locked.

"Shit." She cursed inwardly.

She had feared this might happen, and she knew unless the unsub had entered through the front door she would have a hard time entering the house without making a good amount of noise and giving away her position.

JJ had noticed as she circled the house that most of the windows had screens on them, meaning she would have to cut or break through the screen before she even got to the window. The windows were also the push-up type, which were easier to open and fit through, but only if they were unlocked. Her options were very limited unless she found the unsub's point of entry and her time was limited; she knew Spencer would've entered the house by now. The more time he spent in the house with the unsub, the more danger he was likely in.

JJ quickly crouched back down and made her way to the other side of the house; looking for any open windows or unlocked doors. The sense of desperation and a feeling of dread were entering her consciousness, and she cursed loudly when she found another window to be locked.

Finally, when she had just about given up and was prepared to break open a window, she found her point of entry. It was a rather large window that had been smashed in and appeared to be located in the kitchen. She surmised that the unsub must have broken it in as it most certainly looked smashed on purpose.

A slight chill ran through her as JJ realized this meant the unsub _had _been there and most likely _still was _there. The only question now was if Patricia Simmons was there and where the hell Spencer was. She hoped for Ms. Simmons' sake that she wasn't there, and she prayed that Spencer was safely in position somewhere waiting for her.

As JJ gauged how to fit through the window she realized she would have to stand and hoist herself up and through the window using the window sill as leverage. She was confident that if the sill were strong enough to hold the unsub's weight, it certainly could handle hers. The only problem was she would have to holster her gun, leaving her momentarily unarmed as she entered the house. If by some slim chance the unsub was there waiting for her or she made too much noise, then she would be screwed.

JJ peeked into the kitchen in an attempt to clear it before she holstered her gun.

'Here goes nothing.' She thought to herself as she took a deep breath and pressed her hands flat onto the thin window sill.

She hoisted herself up and slid through the window with relative ease. The window was plenty wide for her to fit through, and she was in good shape so lifting her own body weight was pretty seamless. The only problem was avoiding the broken glass.

As she slid through the window, her midsection rubbed uncomfortably against the wooden window edging and her blouse caught a little, lifting up so her bare skin brushed against some of the finer shards of glass.

JJ grimaced slightly as some of the shards pricked at the more sensitive skin on her lower stomach, feeling almost like little needles poking her.

Finally, she was through, making her way rather awkwardly onto the counter, flinching when her hands pressed into more glass. She forced herself to fight the discomfort and quickly made it from the counter onto the floor into a standing position. The loud crunch under her feet told her she was standing in more glass and immediately announced her presence in the house.

'Dammit.' She cursed under her breath as she quickly grabbed her gun; prepared for any potential attackers.

After remaining frozen and hearing nothing for a moment, JJ felt slightly more relaxed. She wanted to press on quickly and locate Spencer, but the gun in her hand was pressing tiny shards of the glass farther into her hand. This made her aware of her general discomfort and itchiness from the feeling of being covered in glass.

After another moment had passed, JJ quietly placed her gun on a clear spot on the counter. Swiftly and quietly, she did her best to wipe off what she could of the glass. Grabbing a dish towel that was hanging nearby, she carefully rubbed her hands clean as best she could, before brushing off her clothes and her stomach.

She knew she was being a little compulsive and that she wouldn't get it all, but the shards were uncomfortable and she couldn't afford to catch something in her hand or become distracted or unfocused because of the sharp glass.

Once she was relatively satisfied, JJ tossed the towel aside and grabbed her gun.

As she carefully stepped forward, she noticed how strangely quiet the house was; it was too quiet. Something wasn't right.

Just as she thought this, JJ heard a noise from upstairs. She couldn't quite make out what it was, but she thought it sounded like a whimper followed by a man's voice.

This wasn't good.

JJ carefully made her way through the right-side exit of the kitchen.

Just to the right of her was a staircase.

Just to the left of her was _Spencer_. _Face down_.

This was worse.

JJ quickly and carefully rushed over to him. She looked around to make sure it wasn't some sort of trap before she rolled him onto his back.

"Dammit Spence." JJ whispered under her breath as she found him unconscious.

There was a patch of blood and a welt forming on his forehead from where he had been hit by what was likely some sort of blunt object.

She was happy to see that he was still breathing, but now she was truly worried; she was all alone. This was her fault. She had convinced him that they could handle this and now he was unconscious and she was on her own with a violent unsub in the house.

For a moment, JJ was distraught and didn't know what to do. She quickly ran back into the kitchen to grab the towel and pressed it to his forehead to slow the bleeding, all the time praying that he would wake up. She had to stay with Spence; she couldn't just leave him there like that by himself.

Suddenly she heard a crash and a bang from upstairs, followed by what sounded like a struggle.

JJ was forced to refocus on why she was here in the first place; to save a woman's life and to stop an unsub. Spencer's bleeding had slowed and his breathing was steady, he was going to be ok.

JJ reluctantly left him and began to slowly approach the staircase, when a loud humming noise caused her to almost jump out of her skin. After a second, JJ realized that it was Spencer's phone in his pocket.

'It was probably the team.' JJ thought to herself.

She walked back over to his unconscious body. Careful as to where she put her hand, she reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

_Hotch. _JJ sighed quietly before pressing answer.

Before she could say anything, a loud scream came from upstairs.

_Shit._ JJ made her way back to the staircase, her gun drawn in her free hand.

"Reid?" Questioned the worried voice in her ear.

"Hotch, I think the unsub is here at Patricia Simmons house." JJ whispered as she began to slowly climb the staircase.

"JJ? Where's Reid?" Hotchner said as he felt his heart drop.

The rest of the team noticed the change in his expression and immediately turned their attention to him.

"JJ?" he questioned as he heard a scream in the background.

"Reid and I arrived at the house to find the door open. We were clearing the house when the unsub attacked him, he's unconscious downstairs but I think he'll be ok. I think the unsub's upstairs with Ms. Simmons." JJ whispered as she reached the top of the stairs.

"JJ stay where you are! We're on our way!" Hotchner said as the team quickly piled into their SUV, no longer worried about going to Daniel McBain's house.

"_Someone please help me!" _A cry came from the room at the end of the hallway.

"Hotch, I don't think we have that kind of time."

"JJ that's an order!" Hotch increased his tone as he pressed on the accelerator of the SUV.

"Hotch if we wait he'll rape and possibly kill her." JJ argued as she crouched against the wall at the top of the staircase.

"And if you go after him without back up the same could happen to you!" Hotchner said a little more desperately.

Another scream filled the stale air of the house.

"I'm sorry Hotch, but I have to do something, she's out of time. Get here as soon as you can." She said before hanging up.

"JJ? Shit, we have to hurry." Hotchner lamented to the other agents after JJ had hung up on him.

"How far away are we?" Emily asked.

"Too far." Morgan replied darkly before anyone could say anything else.

JJ put the phone in her pocket. She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves before she began her approach. She put as much focus as she could into keeping her hands steady. She reached the partially open door.

"Please, stop. Not again." A woman pleaded.

"Shut up, bitch." A man's voice sneered, followed by a slap.

JJ inched the door open.

On the bed was a woman, her clothes torn, with a rather large man on top of her.

Carefully JJ stepped forward into the room. This caught the attention of the woman who looked right at her.

This unnerved JJ and before she could say anything the unsub turned around.

"FBI, don't move." JJ said nervously as the man stared at her.

She tried not to shudder as she felt his eyes appraising her. The man smirked. He had a dark look of lust in his eyes.

"I knew there had to be more than one of you. At least you're a hell of a lot better looking than he was."

"Please, help me." Patricia pleaded while looking right at her.

Suddenly JJ froze. A flashback hit her. Patricia's face was replaced with her own and the unsub was no longer himself, but rather Raymond Carter.

The unsub noticed the suddenly distant look in the blonde's eyes and decided to make his move. With lightning speed he jumped off the bed and charged the agent.

The large man coming at her was enough to snap JJ out of her daze, but not before he had slammed his hand painfully down on her wrists with enough force to make her drop the gun. She grunted in pain as she lost her balance and fell to her knees.

"Dumb bitch!" The unsub cackled as he backhanded her.

"You think you're so tough?" he said as he kicked her in the stomach.

JJ gasped for air as her hand went to protect her midsection. The unsub simply chuckled.

He grabbed JJ painfully by the hair, forcing her into an almost laying position on her stomach on the floor. He reached down, grabbing the back belt loop of her pants as he forced her up onto her hands and knees. In one quick motion he threw her, sending JJ across the room and into the wall while giving her a bit of a painful wedgie in the process.

The force with which JJ hit the wall was enough to keep her down and leave her stunned.

"Don't worry, when I'm done with her I'll give you a go. It's my lucky day, two for the price of one." He laughed as he went back to the bed, completely ignoring the gun on the floor at the end of the bed.

Patricia had freed the ropes around her wrists, but was unable to fight him off as he slapped her and climbed on top of her once again.

"Nice job with getting the rope off, too bad it won't matter." He said as he gripped both of her wrists in one of his large hands.

He went back to kissing her, touching her, as she begged for him to stop. He was too big, too strong, and she was almost out of energy from fighting him earlier.

JJ meanwhile slowly rolled herself onto her side. Her vision was a little blurry and she had a pounding headache. She wasn't going to give up though. She had regained her breath and regrouped as much as time would allow, her team would be there soon, she had to keep him busy.

Slowly JJ stood, the unsub completely oblivious as he was too focused on Patricia.

JJ wobbled at first and nearly fell back to the ground as the room was still spinning a little. She didn't know where her gun was, but she didn't really have time to search the room. There was only one thing she could think to do. She took a deep breath, gathered herself, and charged.

JJ jumped on top of the man and quickly began swinging her fist, catching him by complete surprise and making contact with his jaw. Before he could react, she connected a few more times and for a brief moment JJ felt a surge of hope that she had the upper hand.

That was short lived however when he bucked backwards quickly and unexpectedly, sending her off his back and crashing to the floor.

"Ok bitch, you want a turn I see!" he yelled as he whipped around and was on top of her in an instant.

JJ squirmed beneath him, writhing around on the ground and kicking her legs wildly as he straddled her. His strong hand immediately went to her pants as he began tugging at them in an attempt to force them down, oblivious for the moment that she was wearing a belt. He continued to try anyway, jolting her body against the floor as JJ worried that his actions may dislocate or crush her hips.

Patricia watched Daniel on the blonde FBI agent and knew she had to help. The woman had tried to help her, she couldn't just run. They may not be able to take him down by themselves, but maybe they could together.

Patricia looked around and it was then that she noticed the gun on the floor. She reached down and grabbed it just as Daniel reared back and back handed the blonde again, splitting her lip open.

He had grown frustrated with trying to pull her pants off, and his hands went to the agent's throat as he began to strangle her.

Patricia knew it was only a matter of moments until the blonde would be done for.

She flung herself onto his back with enough force to force him off of the agent. As they both landed on the floor, the gun slipped loose.

JJ felt the weight that had been on top of her and the pressure on her throat alleviate. She immediately clutched at her throat as she gasped for air. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Patricia and the unsub fighting on the floor.

JJ rolled over and noticed the gun that had fallen beside her. She quickly grabbed it and stood.

JJ charged the unsub, grabbing his shoulder as she reared back and pistol whipped him. It was enough to stun him and give her the upper hand. She reared back and hit him a couple more times as Patricia kicked at his lower half. Finally, he fell unconscious on the floor to the relief of both women.

They both sat there on the floor, gasping for breath and letting some of the adrenaline they both felt subside.

After a moment JJ spoke, her voice a little raspy.

"Thank you for your help." She said looking over at the brunette woman as she tried not to grimace at the ugly looking bruises that covered Patricia Simmon's face.

Patricia simply nodded, too much in shock to say anything.

"Let's get you something to wear until the police and EMT's arrive." JJ said as she holstered her gun and stood slowly.

She made her way to Patricia's closet and opened it without thinking about any previous fears; she was too focused on the hurt woman in front of her.

JJ glanced around until her eyes came across a bathrobe. She grabbed it and walked back over to Patricia, carefully covering her in it. Their eyes briefly met and JJ could see the appreciation in them.

Patricia began to sniffle and then sob. JJ held her close and let her cry into her shoulder.

"It's ok, you're safe now." JJ tried to soothe her. Patricia continued to cry until she quietly whispered through her sobs.

"He raped me."

"I know he did, I know he did." JJ said quietly, pulling the woman closer to herself as she could hear the sirens approaching the house.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Thank you again to all who are reading this. I realize fanfic was experiencing some issues when I posted chapter 11. The full chapter 11 is up, and I wrote and edited chapter 12 as quick as I could as a bonus.**

Patricia Simmons had calmed a little as JJ heard the cars pull up outside. She wanted nothing more than to go downstairs and check on Spence, but she knew she had to stay with Patricia and the unconscious unsub until help arrived.

JJ stood, helping Patricia to her feet as she heard people enter the house and after a few minutes had passed, she could hear footsteps making their way up the stairs.

"JJ?" Morgan's voice called out.

"In here, it's safe." JJ responded as the footsteps came closer.

Morgan pushed the door the rest of the way open with his gun still drawn. Hotchner and Rossi were right behind him, as were the EMTs. They surveyed the room before holstering their guns and letting the EMTs enter.

Morgan and Rossi immediately went over to the unconscious unsub and cuffed him.

Hotchner gave JJ a long look, causing her to feel a little uneasy.

"Are you ok?" he asked her finally, taking a moment to look her over for injury. She was disheveled, her lip was split and her left cheek looked as though a bruise were beginning to form on it.

"Yeah, I'm ok. How's Reid?" she asked, her voice still a little raspy.

"Prentiss is with him downstairs along with an EMT. He's groggy but conscious." Hotch answered as JJ nodded, glad that Spence was awake.

"Hotch…I…" she began uncomfortably before he cut her off.

"We'll talk later." He said simply before turning his attention back to the scene in front of him. Patricia Simmons was sitting on her bed as the EMts gave her a preliminary check up.

"Ms. Simmons, do you know who that man is?" Hotch asked, pointing to the man Morgan and Rossi were dragging from the room.

Patricia nodded somberly.

"He was a former employee of mine, Daniel McBain. He was just recently laid off." She said quietly. Hotch nodded, satisfied that they had indeed apprehended the man they were after.

"Ok, let's get you to the hospital to get checked out." One of the EMTs said as he helped her up and guided her from the room.

Hotch looked at JJ again, noticing how she was deep in thought and her eyes followed Patricia Simmons.

"JJ?" he asked her.

"The bastard raped her Hotch." JJ said angrily.

"It won't be easy, but hopefully she'll be able to recover. At least she's alive, JJ. She has you to thank for that."

JJ's eyes met his and she nodded appreciatively.

"Come on, let's get you checked out too." He said, placing his hand supportively on her shoulder.

JJ left willingly, too tired and sore to argue with the unit chief.

/

The stay at the hospital was brief. Spencer had the bump on his head patched up. The doctors were satisfied that he didn't have a serious head injury and besides having to deal with a headache, he would be ok to travel home immediately.

Spencer had heard some of the details of what had happened while he was unconscious, and he couldn't wait to see JJ to make sure that she was ok. He hadn't been waiting with the rest of the team in the hospital lobby for too long when JJ came out and met them. He immediately stood to approach her as she made her way over to them.

Spencer's eyes scanned her and he winced slightly. Her lip was a little swollen, her cheek was bruised and her neck had some minor bruising as well. Her eyes met his and he felt butterflies in his stomach as she pulled him close for a hug.

"I'm sorry Spence, I'm glad you're ok minus that bump on your head." She said seriously, pulling away to look at the bandage on his forehead.

"I'm fine JJ, I should have seen him coming. How are you?" he asked worried.

"I'm ok, I'm just going to be sore for a few days from the bruises."

"What about your hand?" he asked, looking down at her left hand which was wrapped in some gauze.

"It's nothing, I just got scratched up a little from landing in some glass when I entered the house through a window." She explained.

"You're a real tough girl JJ, I'm impressed." Morgan joked.

"She definitely has some war wounds after this one." Emily added in.

Hotch looked over and raised his eyebrow at both of them, causing them both to stop smiling.

"I think we're all ready to go home. The plane should be ready in a few minutes so we can make it home for dinner." Hotch said as the rest of the team nodded.

"How's Patricia?" JJ piped up, drawing the attention of the rest of the team.

"She's resting peacefully according to one of the nurses. Her family has been notified and is on the way." Hotch answered.

JJ nodded.

"I'd like to go visit her before we leave."

"She's upstairs in room 202." Hotch answered as the rest of the team exchanged knowing looks.

"Thanks." JJ said, walking away as the others watched.

They were all impressed by just how strong JJ was, and how overall, she had handled herself and saved the woman's life. They all had a lot of respect for JJ and who she was, but she had still showed something today that increased their admiration for her tenfold. They certainly weren't going to begrudge her a few minutes with the woman she had saved, they could wait.

/

JJ peered into room 202, careful not to disturb Patricia Simmons in case she was asleep. The woman in the bed was wide awake, staring out the window.

JJ knocked lightly on the doorframe to get her attention. Patricia looked over and smiled slightly when she realized it was JJ.

"Hi, can I come in?"

Patricia nodded. Her face was covered with ugly bruises and her eyes looked tired but she still managed to hold eye contact with JJ.

"I never got a chance to introduce myself, I'm Jennifer Jareau."

"Patricia, as you know." She said, shaking the blonde's hand lightly.

"I just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing. Do you mind if I have a seat for a moment?" JJ asked, pointing to the nearby chair.

Patricia nodded and JJ grabbed the chair and pulled it close beside the bed.

"Thank you for saving me. He was going to kill me." Patricia said quietly.

"I think we saved each other." JJ chuckled. "I know I couldn't handle him by myself, and you're obviously a strong woman to fight him for as long as you did."

"He still beat me and raped me." Patricia sighed as she looked away.

JJ grabbed her hand to bring her attention back.

"But you survived. You held on until I could get there to help you, and then when I was in trouble you stuck around to help me when you could've easily just left me and saved yourself. That takes a lot of courage, and I'm grateful to you for that. He could've killed me too." JJ said staring into Patricia's eyes so that she would know she meant every word she said.

"Things are still going to be different now, I'll never be the same again."

"No. No they won't be. Only if you let them be and if you do, then you let him win. It'll take some time to recover, but if you work at it every day, and you have people there to support you along the way, you can get yourself back and come back even stronger than before."

Patricia stared at JJ for a moment, considering her words.

"What has you so convinced?" she asked finally, still a little skeptical.

JJ sighed, taking a deep breath before regaining her conviction.

"Because I've been there. I wasn't raped, but I was attacked and if it weren't for sheer luck and coincidence that one of my best friends showed up when he did, then I wouldn't be here right now."

Patricia's eyes became softer and she squeezed JJ's hand.

"You can do this, I have faith in you."

Patricia nodded, tears trickling down her cheeks.

They released their hands and JJ stood, putting the chair back in place.

"Unfortunately I have to go. Your family is on the way." JJ said as she walked back to the bed.

She put her hand in her pocket and fished out one of her business cards.

"If you ever need anything, anything at all, please feel free to give me a call, I would love to talk to you if you want." JJ said as she handed Patricia her card.

"Thank you Jennifer." She said as they shared a hug.

"Please, call me JJ, and you're welcome Patricia. Good luck." JJ smiled as she turned and slowly left the room, nodding to the entering nurse as she went.

Patricia watched the blonde go, more convinced than ever that good people still existed in the world, and that she could beat this.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Here is the next chapter. This story may be coming to an end soon, although I haven't completely decided. I'm still trying to figure out if I want to add a little more conflict/drama before the end. Reviews/suggestions are certainly welcome.**

The plane ride home was quiet. It was a short ride as Hartford back to Quantico took maybe half an hour, and sure enough they were going to be back at the office for a few minutes and still make it home for dinner on time.

Spencer sat next to JJ on the ride home as was now becoming their custom. He noticed JJ was wincing a little when she moved in and out of her seat, and she explained to him that she had bruises on her hips and stomach which made moving a little painful. He asked her for full details about what had happened and she obliged. They had just landed when she had finished telling him everything.

As Spencer followed JJ off the plane he couldn't help but to feel guilty. He was very proud of her for being able to hold her own and saving both hers and Patricia Simmons' lives, but he couldn't help but to blame himself.

If he had paid more attention to his surroundings or backed away when he realized the kitchen had two exits and that he was at a tactical disadvantage, maybe JJ wouldn't have been in so much danger. Maybe if he hadn't let her convince him to go in without back up she wouldn't have been in danger.

He had been selfish. He had listened to what she had suggested, but it was against his judgment and he had only done so to appease her; to impress her, to make her happy, to appreciate him that much more. He thought he could handle the situation and in doing so impress JJ and he had been wrong, almost dead wrong.

It was his selfishness and stupidity that had gotten JJ beaten up and could have led to something worse. Maybe she didn't realize this, or she refused to realize this, but he believed it to be true.

Spencer was quiet the entire ride back to Quantico, busy analyzing everything that had happened and scolding himself for failing JJ. He didn't register that they were home until their SUV came to a stop and the other members of his team began to exit. He remained noticeably quiet all the way back to their office, only acknowledging someone when Hotch told him and JJ that he wanted to see them in his office as the others packed up and got ready to head home.

Spencer knew all too well what this was about; Hotch was going to chew them out, him specifically. JJ gave Spencer a comforting pat on the back as they followed Hotch to his office, but he merely frowned. Hotch closed the door behind them and made his way to his desk, taking a seat behind it.

"I think you both know why you're here." He began seriously.

"Hotch, I just want to say that it wasn't Reid's fault. I was the one who convinced him that we didn't have time to call for back up and that we should enter the house on our own."

"JJ…" Spencer started but she cut him off.

"I deserve whatever disciplinary action you deem necessary, I won't argue with it. But Spencer only listened after I strongly insisted that there was no time. He shouldn't be punished, I'll take the blame." JJ finished as Spencer stared at her somewhat incredulous. He couldn't even think clearly to form the words he wished to express.

"Reid?" Hotchner arched his eyebrow, waiting for the young agent's response.

"Uh, as much as I appreciate JJ's defense, I, uh, must disagree." He stammered as JJ shot him a look.

"I am firmly capable of making my own decisions and as persuasive as JJ can be, I still made the decision to go into that house without back up, directly defying your orders. As much as I appreciate JJ's words, I deserve to be punished just as severely if not more so. You directly put me in charge and told me to call you if anything was suspicious, I most definitely did not do that."

"Spence…" JJ tried to cut in, but it was his turn to talk over her.

"Further, because of my actions it led to a situation that put both me, and especially her given the case profile, in serious danger. I could've gotten us all killed by doing what I did." He finished.

Hotchner simply nodded slightly, considering everything his two agents had just said.

"I'm sure more detail will be made available once I read both of your official reports." He began.

"However with that said, with the information I currently have I am putting you both on administrative leave. You _both_ directly defied my orders and put yourselves at risk when I explicitly told you not to. While I am impressed with how you handled the situation and saved that woman's life JJ, you continued into the house even when I told you not to. You are lucky you only have a few bruises." He said staring at her as she nodded.

He then looked over to Reid.

"And you Reid are lucky McBain had no interest in you and left you alive. He easily could have killed you, JJ and Patricia Simmons. This could have been a disaster. This reflects on me as well. We are all lucky that things turned out the way they did and that the two of you weren't hurt more than you were."

JJ and Spencer both nodded, knowing it was wise to stay silent for the time being.

"So, now that I have said what I feel is necessary this is what we are going to do. Tomorrow you both will show up, type up your reports on what happened, and then go home. Although I can't really _force _you to use your sick time, I would _strongly _advise you to take the rest of the week off, Thursday and Friday, using your sick time. At least you will get paid and you will both have some additional time to recover." Hotch stared at both agents who both simply stared back at him.

"Next week you will both be on unpaid administrative leave for the week. During this time your actions will be reviewed and any additional punishment will be levied. I am confident my superiors will see this as appropriate punishment, however. If that is indeed the case, you will both be back to your respective roles on this team on that following Monday with the understanding that your actions will be closely monitored for the time being. Is that understood?" Hotchner finished.

"Yes, sir." They both responded quietly.

"Good. Now go home and get some rest. I expect you both here by nine tomorrow and you should be out of here and done with your reports by lunch."

"Understood." JJ said as Spencer's eyes met Hotch's.

He could tell Hotch wasn't happy with either of them, but he also knew that it really wasn't personal, it was his job. And he cared for both of them; they had both scared him with what had happened today and they all knew they had been lucky.

Quietly, they both turned and left the office with JJ leading. They both silently made their way to their respective desks, in JJ's case her office, and grabbed their things. It was by sheer coincidence that they were standing waiting for the elevator at the same time. Neither of them said a word until they got to the parking garage and JJ spoke up.

"Why couldn't you keep quiet and let me take the blame? I was the one who _clearly _persuaded you that we could handle the situation." She said as she turned towards him.

"We were both at fault. I should've used better judgment. Because I didn't we both got hurt and could've been killed."

"Again, only after I told you we _had_ to go in."

"Still, it was a call that I made, and I have to live with the results. I have to take responsibility for _my _actions, and I did."

JJ didn't say anything for a minute. She was kind of angry at Spencer because of what he had said, but she really couldn't blame him. She really didn't want to fight with him either, even if it was in her nature to do so. Finally, she sighed, releasing some of the built up tension she felt.

"I'm sorry, Spence, for everything. I mean it. I just hope you don't blame yourself too much for what happened. It really wasn't your fault as much as you may think it is, go easy on yourself." She said as she looked at him.

She could tell he had his defenses up and that he was still angry with himself. It didn't help that every time he looked at her he saw her bruises, which simply reminded him of his 'failure'.

JJ wanted nothing more than to pull him close and hug him, to make his defenses melt away. But when she looked at him she hesitated, he wished her goodnight and got into his car. The moment was gone and this time it was JJ who was left standing by herself, watching him go.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Getting towards the end now.**

The next day at the office flew by. JJ and Spencer were both sore from the previous day, but they went about their days as normally as they could.

They both briefly interacted with their teammates separately before going to work on their reports. They knew the rest of the team had some idea that they had been punished and what that punishment was, but neither of them divulged any information on it per Hotch's orders.

Both agents worked quickly to type up a thorough, detailed account of what happened from both of their perspectives. JJ knew Spencer would finish first because of his skills and the fact that JJ had to briefly meet with some people so she could pass some of her time-sensitive work to the appropriate people so that it would get done.

Halfway through the morning she texted Spence asking him to wait for her outside until she was finished with her work because she wanted to talk to him again. At first JJ wasn't sure that he was going to respond, but after some time had passed he texted her back, agreeing to meet with her.

JJ finished with her report and dropped it at Hotch's office. He merely nodded when she placed it on his desk and JJ left without saying a word, knowing there wasn't much else she could say.

Another half hour passed and she was done. She waved goodbye to the team and hopped on the elevator, meeting Spencer in the lobby where he waited for her, reading a book.

"Hey Spence." She greeted him to get his attention.

He looked up, his brown eyes scanning her bruised face once again.

"Hi JJ, your bruises don't look as bad." He commented as he stood, realizing she had noticed him looking.

"The power of makeup." JJ chuckled as they both made their way outside.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked as they walked to their cars.

"Uh, maybe we could grab lunch?"

Spencer shrugged.

"Sure, where do you want to go? I know a good restaurant near Georgetown if you want to try that." He said although he didn't sound overly enthusiastic.

"Um, actually, I was thinking my place maybe. I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression and think that you beat me or something." She said half jokingly.

When he didn't react as she had hoped she continued, feeling a little more uncomfortable.

"I was thinking maybe just grab something and bring it to my place; sandwiches, pizza, Chinese, whatever."

"Uh, I'll pass on the Chinese food." He said as he put his book in his car.

"Still having trouble mastering chopsticks?" she winked at him. He smiled a little this time.

"Yeah, a little. Sandwiches are fine." He said quietly.

JJ nodded, still feeling uncomfortable by how distant he was acting. She hated to see him like this, but it was probably karma for the way she had been acting the week before.

"Ok, great follow me." She smiled weakly as he nodded.

They both got into their respective cars, driving to a local sandwich shop before heading to JJ's house. When they arrived JJ tried to play the part of a good hostess, but Spencer remained distant throughout lunch. JJ's attempts at small talk to get him talking only served to make things more awkward and uncomfortable. As they finished their lunches, she couldn't take it anymore.

"Spence, please talk to me, what's eating at you?" she looked at him compassionately from across the table.

Spencer looked up, barely able to meet her eyes. He wanted to tell her, sort of, but he couldn't. If he did it would mean spilling his feelings for her, and that was something he still wasn't sure he was ready for.

The fact was he was torn. He loved JJ, _wanted _JJ, but now more than ever he realized that he could probably never have her. In his mind, he couldn't protect her. Sure he had saved her life a few weeks ago, but that was luck as far as he was concerned.

Every other time they went out into the field together something happened. First Hankel, now this. If he couldn't protect her when they were in the field, when it was his _job _to do so, then how could he ever be the man she wanted, _deserved_, in a relationship.

When he was in the field with her he didn't think clearly or logically, he thought using his feelings, he thought about her. And because he thought about her, it almost caused him to lose her, more than once now. He couldn't do this; he had to face up to the fact that he could never have her, as much as he wanted her. It crushed him, it may even seem irrational to someone, especially her, but as far as he was concerned it was overwhelmingly logical.

"Spence, please?" she pleaded with him, breaking his concentration.

He looked up and saw that her eyes looked sad. How could he say this to her? To make her understand without actually admitting to his overwhelming desire for her? He had to try, he owed that much to her.

"JJ, I just, I feel like I let you down." He began.

JJ pulled back a little, surprised.

"How?"

"Because I wasn't there for you, because I couldn't protect you or help you when you needed me. I couldn't protect you from getting hurt."

"What, like a few weeks ago? Spence you can't always protect me. I'm a big girl I can handle myself as I've proven time and again. If I couldn't I wouldn't be doing the job I do. I make my choices I have to live with them just like you. You can't blame yourself for everything, especially the things you can't control. You've done more for me the last few weeks than maybe you'll ever know. Overall I'm happy with how this case worked out. I got to save a woman's life; I helped to jail a rapist serial killer. My only regret through it all was that you got hurt in the process." She said as she grabbed his hand from across the table. She gently began to trace circles in his palm.

"You were hurt too." Spencer said quietly, staring at the table.

"Yes, and we were both to blame. Through all the arguing that we did yesterday, the fact is we were both responsible which is why Hotch punished us both. And obviously you weren't just hurt physically like I was, you were hurt mentally too."

Spencer didn't say anything. He listened to her words, but his mind was made up; even as her fingers in his palm made it harder for him by sending shockwaves up his arm.

"I want to make you feel better Spence, like you did for me." She said as she stood and walked over to him, holding onto his hand tightly.

Her perfume invaded his sense of smell and her hair tickled his brow as she leaned down, impossibly close to him. Spencer felt his defenses fading; the temptation to get lost in her was almost too much. But it would be too easy.

"Please, Spence, let me make you feel better." She whispered, her words sending shivers through him that he did his best to hide. He turned to face her, his eyes meeting her gorgeous blue ones, filled with compassion and love.

"You don't always have to hurt, to suffer…"

"JJ…" he cut her off but it was too late. They're lips met and they shared a deep, compassionate kiss.

Slowly Spencer stood as JJ cupped his face to pull him impossibly closer to her. He put his hands safely on her upper back. He wanted to let his hands drift, to explore her, to take her, to claim her but he couldn't let himself free. He couldn't do it.

As JJ kissed him again, this time he didn't kiss her back. JJ noticed she was kissing his closed lips immediately and stopped, pulling away, hurt.

"Spence?" she asked, her voice cracking.

When his eyes saw the hurt in hers he couldn't hold her gaze anymore, he looked away.

"I'm sorry JJ, I just, I can't do this right now. I…I don't know how to explain….I just, need to figure things out."

JJ cursed him for thinking too much, and she cursed herself for letting her guard down, for trying to give herself to him and being rejected, for thinking that she could ever have him. Immediately she tried to bring her defenses back up, because if she didn't she would break down and cry in front of him and things would never be the same again if they hadn't changed already. If she hadn't already screwed everything up.

"Spence, I…I don't understand."

"I…I don't know what to say. I just, I can't explain it to you." He said as he moved towards the door.

"Please, try." She implored him as she put her hand to his chest, stopping him.

"I don't want to lose our friendship."

"What makes you think by walking out that won't happen?"

"JJ…I…I love you. I really do. But…you deserve better. You can do better." He said finally, revealing just what he had been hoping to avoid.

He pushed past JJ, a confused, stunned look on her face, and left her house, leaving her standing there by herself. In Spencer's mind he knew he had done what he had to do, but he couldn't help to wonder if he hadn't just made the biggest mistake of his life.


	15. Chapter 15

**Warnings for a few swear words.**

JJ cursed Spencer Reid. She cursed him with every fiber of her being.

How could he reject her when she had left it all on the table for him? How could he reject her after she had left it all on the table for him and then tell her that he loved her? He loved her but she deserved better, could do better. What the fuck was that? How could he?

He had confused her at first, and then the confusion turned to a level of hurt that she had almost never experienced before. Was he playing some sort of sick game with her, or was that really his level of self-confidence? Unless he was hiding something from her? But then, what was he hiding? If he was hiding something? Dammit!

After the hurt came the emotions she was feeling now, anger. How could he say something like that and then just leave her? Without a further response of any type? It just didn't make any sense. Something was wrong, there had to be an explanation.

'Yeah I'll give you an explanation JJ, the guy you think you love is fucking crazy. It only makes sense to him, nobody else.' JJ sighed as she paced around her house.

She would have to be bold. For one of the few times in her life, if she wanted a man, _she _was the one who would have to be bold. For all the confidence Jennifer Jareau had, this was not going to be easy.

JJ stopped in her place, realizing what she had to do. She rushed to the kitchen table, grabbing her car keys and purse. She was going to chase after Spencer Reid.

/

Spencer Reid wasn't a drinking man normally. Sure he would have the occasional drink here and there, but only went it suited him.

Today he needed it.

As he took another sip of his coke and rum, he tried to focus on the book in front of him; a task he found to be almost impossible.

His thoughts were still stuck on what had happened earlier; what he had said to JJ, the kiss they had shared. The kiss was amazing; the passion behind it, the way she tasted. He wanted more. But it was too late, he had confessed his feelings for her and then turned and ran, like a coward.

He kept telling himself it was for the best, but for as hard as he tried to convince himself it still didn't work. He wanted her. And now, not only could he not have her, he would be lucky if they could even remain friends. So much had changed in those few short moments and now, he sat in his house, alone, trying to read a book, but too focused on her, as usual.

Spencer could've sworn he heard a car pull up to his driveway, but after a moment of silence, he thought he was hearing things.

'Great, now I really am going crazy.' He thought to himself.

Another moment passed when suddenly there was a soft knock at the door which startled him.

Spencer put his drink down and slowly walked towards the door, his heart beating more rapidly in his chest. He was nervous, he knew who that knock likely belonged to.

He looked through the window to see who was standing on his doorstep.

'It was her.'

Spencer wanted to just ignore her, make her go away; it would be easier that way. But she had seen him and for a moment he froze. There was no escaping it now, he would have to open the door and face her.

Spencer took a deep breath, willing himself to come up with the right words to say to her when she no doubt confronted him. When she knocked on the door again, Spencer finally responded, opening it.

JJ stood there unflinching, still wearing her clothes from work hours earlier. They both stood there and stared at each other, stone-faced.

"Are you going to let me in?" JJ finally broke the silence, her voice remaining even.

Spencer paused before opening the door wider and holding it for her, inviting her in.

JJ passed by him, glancing up at him and forcing their eyes to meet as she did.

Spencer let out the breath he had been holding as he closed the door behind her. He had never felt so nervous in his life. He knew JJ wasn't happy, and he truly had no idea how this conversation was going to turn out. Spencer turned to face her, forcing his eyes to meet hers even if it was currently the last thing he wanted to do.

"Would you like a drink?" he offered in an attempt to break the ice.

"No thank you." JJ shook her head.

They stood there awkwardly for what seemed like an eternity. It was almost as if they were trying to see who would flinch first. Finally Spencer bit.

"JJ, listen, I'm sorry about earlier…it's just, I don't want to be responsible for hurting you, ever."

"You mean like earlier?" she snapped, causing Spencer to flinch.

JJ cringed inwardly, hating her inability to bite her tongue.

"I…I meant what I said, about loving you. It's true. I've always had feelings for you. I ran because it was the first time I admitted it out loud, I was scared." He tried, shoving his shaking hands into his pants pockets.

"Spence…I put myself out there for you. I never do that, ever. The one time I do and you reject me. You rejected me over some crap about not being good enough for me. Obviously we're both fragile and we both have…certain issues. But I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't want you, love you. I want to see where this will take us." JJ responded, finally letting some of her emotions out and letting her guard down towards him once more.

Spencer felt his stomach flutter at her last few words, but he was still having mixed emotions.

"JJ, I'm sorry. I really am. I…didn't know how to handle everything. I've wanted you for so long, and now when the moment came it didn't seem real. I never thought you would actually want me." He said looking down at his feet.

"What about when I invited you to my house when I was having trouble sleeping? Didn't we connect?"

"Yeah, I thought we did. But…I thought it was too good to be true. I was helping you because you needed it and I cared, but I thought once it all came to pass you would just want to stay friends." He said, looking back up at her.

"Well I don't, I've realized that now." JJ smiled a little.

"You mean that right, no games?"

"I'm being as honest as I can be. I want this, I want you." She said as she closed the space between them.

"I've wanted to hear you say that for so long." Spencer said as he gazed in her eyes, seeing that her words were true.

"So you're going to dump this crap about how I can do better than you?" JJ asked as their bodies were almost touching now.

"Yes." Spencer nodded, knowing he was making the biggest commitment of his life, but wanting to make it more than anything.

"Good. Now give me a real kiss, like the first one." JJ smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

This time Spencer didn't even hesitate, as he claimed her lips with his own, giving JJ a breath-taking kiss.

It was going to take some work, but they both had faith that they could make this work. Never had a moment felt so right, after all they had been through together, as it did right then kissing in the middle of Spencer's house.

"How about we watch a movie together or something? I want to spend my time off with you; I want to make up for some lost time." JJ whispered into his ear.

Spencer felt his knees go weak as anticipation coursed through his body. He gently grabbed JJ's hand and led her to his living room. This was the moment he had dreamed of for years and it was about to come true. Although he was still a little apprehensive, the kiss had convinced him. He wanted to push past his insecurities and make it work with JJ. They were about to begin something they both wanted, and they were about to see if they truly were right for each other, of which they had little doubt.

As JJ settled in comfortably next to Spence on his couch they both felt happy, it felt right. Maybe everything wasn't perfect and there were still uncertainties, but they had time to try to work those things out. JJ turned to Spencer and they shared a look. They both smiled and shared another kiss.

The End

**AN:** **Well, I'm going to end it there. I feel like the ending might be a little disjointed. Originally I had a lot of ideas and a different direction to end this story, but I chose this and hopefully you all enjoyed it. Thank you for all the interest, and a big thanks to those of you who took the time to consistently review. It was much appreciated! I have a lot of story ideas, but I will consider any ideas or suggestions you may have as well. My next story is in the works and should be up shortly so be on the lookout for that, and again thank you!**


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